Sunday, August 31, 2008

Do you ever wonder

What your kids are thinking about? What they dream about? What they're really contemplating when they look up at you? What's so scary about a grocery store to them? Whether they remember prior abuse or neglect? Whether they understand that this is for forever? If they know you're their parents? If they know they'll always be fed now?

Just curious if I was the only one thinking these things...


  1. Well, since Kayla is nonverbal, I'm ALWAYS wondering these things. Right now I can't figure out why the canister vacuum is frightening but the upright vacuum is a toy.

  2. Are your newest kids afraid of the grocery store? I wonder, if they are, if it's because the temperature is kept low, and there's no carpet, lot's of "hall ways", reminding them vaguely of a place not so nice from their past?

  3. Mary, Joey's mom here.
    Joey is very verbal, very high functioning. I have often wondered what he thinks about, if he really thinks this is forever, or just another stop along the way. He was in Antoshka, then transfered about 6 months before we adopted him. he certainly saw his share of people come and go since he was in the "regular" room in Antoshka. One night, as I was putting him to bed, he started crying. He has only had a "sad" cry, as I call it, 3 or 4 times in a little over a year. I just get the feeling he is sad, not understanding, etc... He was doing this that night, when he said "Joey stay here. No Luba. stay mama and papa?" Luba was the director at the other orphanage.
    I about cried myself. I took this to mean he was asking if we were going to take him back to Ukraine, to Luba.
    We keep emphasizing family, forever, you are ours. Who knows if he understands. do any of us understand what is in store for us?

  4. Turner has been home almost 2 weeks now. I wonder same things. I figure he's thinking this is a new orphanage. Ansley will still crawl up in my lap and want confirmation that this is HER home and when we turn down our street, she'll say, "There's MY house" The other 2 (bio) never even think like that. There never seems to be a need to affirmation that they are indeed home or that we are their parents. It makes me sad that the doubt is still there for Ansley.


  5. Yes, I do wonder that. I especially wonder what Anah will think. She was with her Mom until age 5, then an orphanage, then she'll be with us. Will she think she's going some place else after a while? That's one of the reasons I plan on homeschooling her, there are others, but that's one.

  6. Yep, I wonder the same thing! All the time!

  7. My little one came home from Vologda, Russia at 10 months. She's a typical child and she's 5 now. She is starting to figure things out. She's asking questions. I haven't "told" her that she was an "orphan" (used that word), but orphans are my cause so of course she's heard the word. She knows that Mommy went to Russia to get her and that she didn't "grow in Mommy's tummy". I just answer her questions with what I think she needs to know at the time. When we first got home, it was obvious that she was waiting on the next shift to come on. She had decided that she kinda liked me and was terrified that I was going to leave. I had three months with her on my hip before I returned to work. - I'm single and have to work. By that time she was fine. We've been fine until these recent questions. I'm hoping she doesn't put it all together and think I might take her back. She may, but even if she decides that she wants to go (when she's a teenager lol) she's out of luck. She's STUCK with me FOREVER!!!!
    Wow that was long. sorry :-)
    ~Allison in TX