Thank you for the words of encouragement both in the comments and by e-mail. I appreciate the reminder that he's a 4 yr old BOY and that boys will be boys...
I want to reassure those that had any concern that my other three little ones are in fact SAFE and that there is no risk to them of Kristopher. He is kind and gentle with them 99% of the time and is not unsupervised with them during play. At night we are now keeping a close watch until he goes to sleep and if need be we'll separate the boys. I'm sorry I didn't say that earlier, it didn't enter my mind that others would take my post as Kristopher being any real risk to the little guys. That's simply not the case.
I appreciate the suggestions. Some that we are already doing and some that we will try. Those that said that we need to leave K be and let him get away with it simply because he's 4, male, and has disabled siblings... I don't agree :) He will continue to be held to a high standard as will ALL of my children and I won't allow him or any of them to get the idea that because it's "age appropriate" it doesn't fall into my definition of 'wrong'. Age appropriate or not, i won't allow my son to be disrespectful, talk back, or blatantly disobey. That said, I do agree that some of this TESTING is based on his age and the development of himself and his peers. And I think that this is exactly that- and he will learn eventually that he's done with it and is ready to shape back up. In the mean time, we're figuring out other things we can do to encourage that to come along quicker :)
Thanks again for the comments, a few things we've begun to do already such as having him spend time with OTHER children his age that are not at school and having him be "our helper" when he'd like to be. He also gets to be the one to come along on extra trips when we go out so he gets one on one time with us and he has special time before bed each evening with just one parent and him. We're working on it... thank you all for the ideas. I'm not sorry that I posted it because it is part of life-- the good stuff and the not so good stuff. I'm glad to be able to share the struggles in addition to the joys because that makes the eventual joys (that come out of the struggles) that much sweeter... :)