Whispers in your ear

Have you, as a parent or adoptive parent of a disabled child ever had one of these things said to you?

God gave you that child because He knew you could handle it.  I never could do what you do.
You chose the road you're walking, so it's your own fault if everything's not what you thought it would be.
I told you it would be hard and here you are coming crying back to me when you didn't have to have/adopt the child in the first place.
You adopted them, you take care of them.  It's not up to your community to help you to raise those kids.
If you knew life was going to be this hard for you wouldn't you have turned around before you adopted that child?
Your friends don't like you anymore because they think it's too loud at your house when you're on the phone.
Don't complain about your situation, you got there on your own.
Whatever problems you're dealing with- just remember that someone else has it worse.
Why would you ever encourage anyone else to intentionally do what you do and adopt those kids when looking at your family it's obviously hard?
Did they tell you your kids would be like they are before you adopted them or did they lie just to get you to take them off their hands?
Sorry, I can't help you because quite frankly your son scares me.
I don't see how your husband hasn't left you yet after you got all those kids.  Isn't he tired of it all?
God might want us to take care of orphans, but He didn't say to invite them all back to your house.  He only meant to make sure the ones closeby don't starve.
Why would you go adopt a kid over seas when there are so many waiting kids in Foster care in the USA that need families?  Other countries should take care of their own kids too.
Are you ever going to stop???
Are they all yours???
And the most profoundly STUPID comment that I have ever heard (and yes, was directed at me though some of the above are ones friends shared with me)...
Why didn't she stop having kids after the first one was born retarded?


First, let me say very clearly and very STRONGLY...

Those words are not from God, and are NOT a 'message' from God.  Those words are meant to kill, steal, and destroy and those things come from only one place (John 10:10).


Next, let me share this:
God intends for everyone.  EVERYONE.  EVERYONE. to take care of the orphans.  James 1:27 says that pure and faultless religion is that which cares for the widows and orphans.  It isn't a "take this, leave that" type of salad bar.  It's something everyone is told to do.

Just because you listened when God called you and someone else hasn't been called in the same way doesn't mean that it is any less his responsibility to care for orphans than yours.  It doesn't mean everyone should adopt.  It doesn't mean no one should.  It doesn't say take care of the orphans next to you.  It says to care for those in their distress.

So here's what I'm claiming.  When it comes to your disabled or adopted children, if it is not edifying and does not build up the Kingdom of God and His people, then let the words of others roll off of your back like oil on water because their words are not spoken in the Truth according to God's Word.


And.  Right, I'm not done. :)

And, if you need help, even if you've "chosen" this road.  Even though you're the one that didn't terminate your pregnancy, didn't walk away from the disabled child.  Even though you're the one that chose to adopt a special needs child-- or five.  Even if your own choices somewhere are mixed up into the family that you have (or if they aren't!) remember... always remember... that asking for help is not admitting defeat.  In fact, it's very different.

Asking for help means admitting you cannot do it alone.

If I remember correctly, God doesn't intend for man to be alone and therefore He created woman.  God doesn't intend for us to raise our families alone.  He doesn't intend for us to wear ourselves down until there's nothing left to give because we won't ask for help or won't accept help if it's offered.  He doesn't intend for us to put ourselves into the darkness because we've not had any sleep and we feel like we can't ask anyone to help us out since this "is our problem".  God doesn't intend for us to end up in dark places because we're caring for a child with a disability or because we're caring for an orphan.  He says to DO.  And He knows we need help.

God won't give you any more than you can handle.

God DOES give us more than we can handle.  ALONE.

He always gives us more than we can do by ourselves because without that dependency on Him we might not know to call out to Him.

God never gives us more than we can handle WITH HIS HELP.

And if someone that you've asked for help is feeding you those lines at the top of this post, remember that they are not speaking out of God's Word.  They're speaking out of their own selfish hearts.  Forgive them, and look to another source that has a close walk with God and will help you or find the help you need.

You don't have to be alone, and you don't have to hide.  You're answering a calling that God's placed on your life and He doesn't intend for it to ruin you, but for it to bless you in the direction that He wants to direct your life.