Sunday, December 19, 2010

Now what do ya do...

When your 8 yr old "toilet trained" little girl... who constantly tells me she has to pee... and does in the toilet... decides to wet through everything she owns?

Seriously, she's wet 4 outfits this morning.  Nope, I'm not stupid... I put her in a diaper.  Which she somehow managed to still pee out of.  Yep.  ALL OVER.

The thing is, she held her pee all night.  She peed three times in the CHAIR, the exact same chair.  Not in trouble, etc... just peed.  The fourth time I'm not sure where she peed.  What's the deal?

Each time I tried not to give a ton of attention over it, since that appears to be what she's really seeking with peeing (but she's got our total attention ANYWAY, so I don't get it...).  I've had her go in to the toilet (by herself, I stand out of sight and just watch her little feet).  Then she puts her clean underwear, I've put on her tights, and then she puts her pants on.

I've made her look at me (which she HATES and avoids, of course, be cause she's an 8 yr old institutionalized child...) and told her firmly NO, Nyet.  Peeska in the twalet (pee in the toilet! Yes, that's really what that means).  The third and fourth times, after dressing, I sat her in the middle of the room but over by the bed on the floor cross legged and told her "sideese, time out, peeska in the twalet" (sit, time out, pee in the toilet).


So I don't want to just go back to diapers, especially since they don't MAKE diapers here that really FIT her... but It looks like it's inevitable that we're going to have to-- and at the moment I already have.  Yesterday she had ONE accident.  Today it's only 1pm and she's had FOUR!

We have no more clothes for her... she even peed through one of Wesley's pants (they were a little snug and a tad short, but we were at the apartment and it worked... they're a size 4).  Now she's wearing an undershirt and shirt, socks, underwear, and a diaper.  Hopefully she can stay dry the rest of the day.

We were planning on going to walk around on Kreshatik tonight and see the lights, then have dinner in the food court at the underground mall.  I think she's going to wear tights, her PJ pants and snow pants when we go out tonight.  She's wet through everything else she owns for her bottom.

Good thing I brought all the clothes that I did...

Any ideas are welcome to be shared!  I think we're just resigned to diapers for the moment, and then even if she pees (as long as it stays IN the diaper) then it won't be a huge endeavor to change all of her clothes, but rather just a quick change of the diaper and off so maybe, just maybe, we can cut down on the attention seeking part of peeing her pants...

Ah... the joys of parenthood.  The washer is running for the 3rd time today (and there is no dryer) so now EVERYTHING she owns is laying out to dry on the side of the tub.

But hey, we have a Christmas tree, so what's there to complain about?  Blessings in the little things ;)


  1. Ugh...I have no advice for you. Sorry. Just wanted to let you know I'm reading and praying! No drying rack or radiator to speed the drying process a bit?

    Hope this is a VERY short lived thing...

  2. Dunno if you can do it . . . but honestly, the only thing that stopped our Dd from peeing as a control/attention thing was to simply shrug, direct her to the sink, and let her wash her own stuff out . . . Granted, we did that AFTER she knew a bit more English, but we found that we had to act almost totally UN-interested--BORED--with the whole thing--we wouldn't even LOOK at her when she'd come and say, "I wet myself." She was FURIOUS when she realized we were going to make her wash her own stuff (before that we had tried MANY, MANY, MANY other options!). It only took a couple of times of her having to wash every thing by hand with a little soap (we still washed in the washer afterwards) before she stopped. She was 5.5 when we adopted her, and there were no wetting issues at first, but she soon realized she could focus attention on her and "control" us by wetting, and boy, then did she ever work it! SO . . . that was our experience for whatever it's worth. THE ONLY thing we found that worked to stop it was HER having to own responsibility for HER problem. That was a win-win situation for us because at least the worst was dealt with before we had to throw it into the washer, and since we kept it HER problem, not ours, we could keep from feeling irritated and stressed over it. I know with the language issues and so on, this might not be a "for now" idea, but keep it in mind for the future. Good luck . . . adopting an older, pretty functional child is a unique challenge! ;-)

  3. Merry Christmas!
    I have been following your blog and am so happy for you to be bringing your 2 new children home this season.

    I have a 6 year old daughter with ds and toilet training has been a big part of our lives this last year. I know you have other children and your own experience, but since you asked, here's a couple thoughts that come to mind.

    Get out a notebook and pencil and keep track of her liquid intake and outgo very carefully. You're not really in a position at the moment to be truly working on toilet training. But for your sanity, you need to know how much she could wet at any given moment.

    Then, limit her liquid intake. Plan when she can have a drink and how much. Put her on a bathroom schedule according to the last time she had a drink.

    If she had 4 accidents in one morning then either she has had WAY too much to drink or she is only leaking a little at a time and you have a chance to get her on the toilet (and make her stay there) for the rest of it. Tracking it all with the notebook will help you know which it is.

    And I hate to even type this, but could she have a urinary tract infection? I don't think so from your description, but this could cause her to try and prevent herself from going (because it hurts) and then have accidents when she can't hold it in any longer.

    Kids with ds can be such visual learners, stop talking. Take your pencil and notepad again and create a super simple visual schedule. One picture of her peeing into a potty. One picture of her doing the most favorite fun thing you can come up with at this point. Sit her on the toilet. Ply her with liquids. Wait it out until she pees. Show her the pictures in order/side by side. Make a huge positive deal out of it. Point to the potty picture, then the fun picture. Then do the fun thing.

    Don't punish her at all for accidents. Either 1) get very excited as in "here is your chance to go on the potty!" and race her to the bathroom to see if she can finish in there or 2) make it about you, put her back to bed, or make her sit quietly alone somewhere, because you have to clean up, and you are so sorry but you can't talk to her right now.

    Not sure if any of this is useful in your situation, but maybe it will give you some brainstorming ideas.

    God bless!

  4. If/when you resort to diapers, if absorbancy is the issue with going through them, you can layer two and cut/tear a hole in the center crotch area of the inside one.

  5. Could she simply be peeing this much because she´s so nervous? She´s obviously going through a whole lot of changes right now and this might simply be her way of getting rid of stress (not that I´m any expert on the behaviour of children). Another thing might be that her body is getting rid of excessive fluids, that happens every once in a while (and often seems to follow big changes) so it might just be a temporary thing. I will be pryaing for you and especially that the snow doesn´t stop you. Because I´m a European I sincerely excuse all the snow we´ve been having :)

  6. Meredith,

    Prayers for you and Chris. Get some oars, seems like you may need them.
    Until you get home, I suggest gettting some pull ups, the night times ones if you can find them.
    She will calm down once home. She is testing, experimenting, etc... You know all of this.
    Hugs and more prayers.


  7. I think I would get nappies (diapers) and do what Laurie said. We do that with Eden at night time. One thing, and this seems odd, but when a child starts to dehydrate, they will wee more than usual. When you start dehydrating for whatever reason your bodily fluids are being released and you'll wee even without having had something to drink.

    I would have to say, she probably is so terrified of what is happening. She's never had a family and everything she's ever known is gone. I agree with the other post up there that says not to punish her for it.

    I tend to use hugs for everything lol. When Eden gets upset I hug her and then it is better. When she's sad or scared, I hug her and it is all better. What ever she doesn't understand, a hug sorts and doesn't require language, it is its own language...

    Praying for you!

  8. Meredith- you are such a dear!

    Our first few days with our girls in our apartment in Kiev were pretty horrible. K and E were supposed to be potty trained too - but it sure didnt seem like it - and they had explosive diahrea. We resorted to diapers for our own sanity sake. Actually their potty was so bad I had to throw away some of their underwear we had tried.

    I would definitely do what Mary said and get some pullups (or diapers if thats all you can find) and deal with all the potty issues later. :)

    I will be praying for your strength and endurance these next few days! :)

    Karen shervheim
    adopted K and E from Ukraine, 2008

  9. We had a similar issue with Anah when she came home at 11. She's been home two years and still will not initiate going to the potty herself, at home, at school or anywhere, so we have to remember to bring her every couple of hours. BUT, after we were home for a few days she started peeing herself, no matter if we brought her to the potty or not, she would just sit where ever she was an pee, for attention. So after the first couple times, we would just let her sit there, wet and uncomfortable for a few minutes after letting her know that we knew she was wet. Then we'd make her get up and wash her clothes out (not really, but she thought she did) wash up, then get redressed. We pretty much ignored it. After two or three times of that she was all done. Not to say she doesn't have an occassional accident, but it's only once every couple months and it's usually because we've forgotten to make her go potty, like I say, she never initiates it. Not sure if that will help, but praying for a quick resolution.

  10. With all the new clothes, could she be wanting to change??? Praying for you and the rest of your trip,

  11. Havel said they do have pull-ups for big kids in Ukraine, but they're only sold in a few stores, and under a different name. I'll copy/paste what he told me. This comment is related to Serbia, but I've since been told they're in Ukraine as well. ..."Just a quick thing about the pull-ups: you can actually get them in Serbia, I bought them both in Novi Sad and Subotica. They just go by a different name and are pretty hard to recognize. If you are close to the Hungarian border Libero Up & Go is the brand to look for, elsewhere Huggies Pull-Ups are sold, usually only the sizes up to 40 lbs, but in Belgrade and Subotica one can get them in the size XL, which is 38+ lbs. It's worth checking out the Metro stores (facilitators in many countries have membership cards), KTC and MERCATOR, if those are still called that, they have a pretty good selection." I just looked up the Metro chain, and they are in Ukraine. Kind of like cashwise or sams.