We are adjusting to the idea of another son in our home. Adjusting to the idea of so much overseas travel. Adjusting to the idea of the doctor's appointments and therapies and adjustments that will be necessary once Monroe is home.
And some days the adjustments are so enjoyable and something I want to embrace wholeheartedly and just run toward.
But other times those adjustments seem somewhat unsurmountable!
I know that God's plans are not ones that we know without following them, but that feeling of "what in the world?!" that we had in Ukraine when God handed us Emma and Micah for the first time... the same feelings I had when we committed to adopt Sasha, and probably the same ones when we had each of our biological children and we tried to "envision" what life would be like with one more... those are surfacing now and then.
In prayer tonight, I know that we are letting God lead, and that He knows the paths and knows the journey we will be taking. And that we are right where HE has asked us to be. No matter the rational thought or opposition, HE has asked us to step out in faith and we are doing just that.
We cannot wait to bring Monroe home, and to know that all these "what if" thoughts of fear and anxiety at the look of the unknown will disappear into the rambles when God brings the strength and assurance that He will bring us through every obstacle. Not without difficulty. Not without our own constant questions. Not without us wondering time and time again these same things...
God doesn't say the narrow path is easy. He says it is right.
Our God is a God who moves mountains, who brings miracles and has overcome the grave. Not even one child can go a day without God knowing exactly what they endure and what their future looks like. He is calling. We are answering.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord, who calls not the prepared but prepares those He calls. Who takes not the righteous, but brings the lowly to become the Righteousness of God. Who looks after the orphans and widows and calls us to live our life in remembrance of Him-- and to do as He would do. Who then calls US to say "Follow me, as I follow the example of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1).
Yes, we have our moments of doubt too... and in an effort to continue to "keep it real" I intend to post the very real things that go on in my life, in our lives. We know we have a choice in this, and we will press on unless God clearly says "STOP." I know I'll get a mixed response from a post such as this, and I'm posting it anyway because there is someone else that's considering adoption and is in this same boat tonight that needs to hear that someone that has 3 adopted kids and 3 bio kids still looks out at the prospect of adoption and still feels those same normal feelings of apprehension. Without this dose of 'humanity', we leave very little room for God to show up big. Without sharing the hard times we don't allow God to share his triumph. So, doubts, hard times, and humanity it is... Now isn't a time for hiding, but of further revealing our hearts and our own flaws so that we can stay real.
LOVE it when you keep it real ;) Of course their will be doubt...without doubt, God can't shine through the situation!! You and Mike both know that God has this in control and He hand picked you because He knew you could handle this...because He knew, you would lean on HIM!!!
ReplyDeleteVery well-said Meredith! I am praying for your family! And so anxious to hear when Monroe gets home! :-)
ReplyDeleteKeep it coming, right from the heart. Good job. You are right, you might just influence someone who is on the fence. Give them the confidence they need.
ReplyDeleteJan
I admire your commitment to following Christ's call in your lives. I also appreciate you sharing the difficult times. It is an encouragement to those of us who are in the same boat... trying to follow God's will while feeling a bit of fear.
ReplyDeletePreach it, sister! I've recently been on a Transparency Mission as well, and it blesses ME to read OTHERS who struggle, but press on regardless!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're not candy-coating your feelings and experience. Following the Lord's calling does not always seem rational or easy but it is right! But would we have it any other way? Following God means that we keep our eyes on HIM not ourselves, and that brings Him glory! I am so happy that your family will be bringing Monroe home!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your honesty. I think it's actually harder to adopt a second or third or fourth time because 1) you're concerned for how the rest of the family will react and 2) you know about the hard stuff and that it will take a while for everyone to settle in.
ReplyDeleteI can see that your hearts are following God and that you truly want His will. I am sure that if you are headed in the wrong direction that He will show you. And if you have heard Him correctly (which it really sounds like you have) then I know that He will give you the strength and wisdom and everything else you need for the journey.
Thanks for your honesty. So many times when we follow God's calling in our lives we wonder why He doesn't smooth everything out for us. You've answered that quite well.
ReplyDeleteI am jealous! I wish we could bring Monroe home, but have to wait until hubby's heart it right. And to what better folks than you guys! I am so excited to follow another Cornish Family Adoption and can't wait to get to know Monroe better!!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to follow Monroe's adoption and get to know him better!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing about your thoughts and struggles. You put the words together well and have a great influence on many lives, I would think. I know you have taught me alot about having faith to follow God's path for us. We are just beginning the adoption process again, and feel we have been called for the domestic special needs children. I don't know what's in store for us yet; but we try to have faith it will all work together for those who follow God.
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