If you had someone "important" in your child's life that was wanting to talk 'baby talk' to them? For instance... Saying "aww, won' you cawm ere? Tand up! Tand up! Ood Boy! Did woo huwt yow wittle woesies?"
I'm not sure whether I should say something or not. I know I WANT to... just not sure how to say it without it coming across as being rude! LOL The person that's doing this is new to our lives but a semi long-term part of life, and hasn't interacted with my kids before. Everything else about her is GREAT! But... I'm thinking that James (he's the one with her) might not even understand what she's saying because she's not talking to him like he gets it! :) I've 'modeled', but so far that didn't work. We'll keep trying that one though.
I'm really not even sure if this person knows she's doing it? Hmm...
Andrea,
ReplyDeleteI had to address this with a care giver once. I simple told them that because of our children's language delays, it was super important to us that all the language they were hearing was clear and easy to understand. I told her that though I understood that she was just trying to be sweet, that she can still use a "sweet tone" but with clear diction. The individual took it very well.
I think if you make sure to address that you appreciate that she is just trying to be loving and kind, that you (as a family) work hard on language development and that part of good language development is hearing clearly spoken words.
just be honest. your children may be somewhat slower than others, but are not by any means stupid, and definitely understand regular talk. this is not just true about children with disabilities, but children in general. talking to your children like that (even as infants) delays their ability to formulate proper speaking. there are many studies about this in fact. just tell the person that you appreciate that they are trying to be kind in their tone, but that by speaking to them in "baby talk" it only further delays their progress, and that they understand regular speaking just fine.
ReplyDeleteMeredith, I wholeheartedly agree with Erin P. Confrontation is never easy, but you should do this sooner than later. I have seen children who were not disabled and their whole family talked this way, it really delayed their ability to carry on a conversation and be understood by others. Then in school they had trouble as well, sometimes needing speech therapy. Will pray that you have wisdom to say the right thing at the correct time. Love ya, Susan Swezy
ReplyDeleteeh, just mention something. If it were a person who came around infrequently than I might not say anything, but if the person is a frequent and important part of your lives, I am sure that person might be glad for someone to say, "You know, I was thinking James might understand you much better if you just talked to him normally. Also, you'd be doing a great job of modeling speech for him." Of course, they may get offended, but, you are the mom. It is up to you.
ReplyDeletehard subject. Maybe model it a little more see if she gets the hint and then you may have to explain you need your kids to hear the words clearly so they can learn to say the words correctly.Good luck
ReplyDeleteFlat out tell her. When I was teaching I had this happen all the time. I had a vice principal take the hand of one of my students (in middle school)--later tell me "how cute she was". I looked at her and said "We do not hold hands in the class--because kids with DS (she had DS) and disabilities are taught to much to be easy victims of those who want to take advantage of them when they're taught it's okay to hold anyone's hand". It shocked her a little (she would baby talk some too), but got the point across.
ReplyDeleteI would do just what Tracie said. And say it over, and over, and over again until she gets it--especially if she's going to be a more permanent part of life. Often people just don't even know that it's not appropriate--and that they need to speak clearly. With my paraeducators I would often tell them over and over how we had to model for the students what we wanted them to do, how we wanted them to talk, etc. I also told them repetitively how we were the models for the whole school. How we treated students with disabilities was how others would treat them, talk to them, etc.
So, that's my suggestion. Good luck. May feel like you're being blunt, but sometimes blunt is the only way.
I have had something very similar happen and I just came right out and said that we don't use baby talk with our kids, esp because some of them have speech issues.
ReplyDeleteThey'll get over it.
If it is easier you could bring it up as something that a speech therapist or teacher mentioned to you. You could say "XXX reminded me today that we all have to be speaking clearly to James and using the correct pronunciation. It was a good reminder for me, it is so important not to use baby talk with any of the kids because proper modeling is so important." Or something like that. I am sure she will be fine once she understands, and, as you said, she may not even realize she does it.
ReplyDeleteSurely it's not your new babysitter! :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I am behind! I've said similar to what Tracie said. That with Angela's language delays, it's crucial that we give her a correct language model. We can have humor, and love, and sugar, and all those things, all while saying the words correctly.
ReplyDelete