Twenty One!

On our Family Page on Facebook, my tag line says this:

9 kids 7 homeschooled 5 adopted 4 from Ukraine 5 with Down syndrome 3 "typical" 2 with Cerebral Palsy 1 with Autism 2 committed parents 1 very big GOD. That's us!

On Monday, for the week of Thanksgiving, our household will be more like this:

17 kids 7 homeschooled 10 adopted 5 from Ukraine 1 from Serbia 3 from Bulgaria 10 with Down syndrome 6 “typical” 2 with Cerebral Palsy 2 with Autism 4 committed parents 1 very big GOD.  That’s us!

Looking forward to celebrating Thanksgiving with the Bedford family!  Their family of 10, including 5 adopted children with Down syndrome, will be staying with us next week and our household is getting ready… and excited!

In my spare time

Monday:

Girls’ Morning Out with Aleksa, Brianna, Lynae, and Delaina for…Operation Christmas Child box shopping
Errands
Grocery shopping

Then home for 45 minutes to eat lunch

Mid day I spent 4 hours going to the ENT with 8 kids in tow.
Micah and James will be having ABR’s done as the next step, and Micah will “likely” be getting hearing aids due to his hearing loss even with tubes in.

Home for 15 minutes before family showed up for an impromptu birthday dinner (a month late because we rescheduled it since everyone was sick last time!) for Aleksa.

Dinner, showers, PJ’s…

Then more errands and home by 10pm.  Nurse Delaina and put her down while playing a word game with Michael.

Where did today go???

Because He Loves Us So…

Because Jesus died for us, we can see farther than tomorrow.  Because He Loves Us So…

 

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy

And all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are, And how great Your affections are for me

Oh, how He loves us,
oh Oh how He loves us
How He loves us all

We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking

Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about, the way… That He loves us

Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves

And here… is our Wesley… exemplifying the act of God’s love last night, as he showed us more control over his body than he ever has before.  He wants so badly to love on his baby sister.  This reminds me so much of God’s pure love for each and every one of us.

How remarkable the gifts that God has given us truly are!

In the spirit of Thanksgiving

Some days are hard.  Just hard.  Nothing seems to go right from sunup to sundown.  There are kids not listening, or misbehaving, or even more fun… when they have behaviors that escalate throughout the day which serve as their own undoing (and mine!). 

Sometimes I start the day refreshed from a good night’s sleep and ready to go.  Other days I start after having woke every hour all night long with a fussy Delaina or Wesley needing to be repositioned, or Lynae needing to go to the bathroom, or Kristopher having a bad dream.

Some mornings I start the day behind, I can’t seem to get things going very quickly, and it feels like it’s late before I get going and doing everything that needs to be done.

Some days… I wish things were easier.  That the kids were able to go to the bathroom by themselves, pick out their own clothes, put them on, and put their dirty clothes in the hamper.  That they could pour some cereal and eat their breakfast.  That they could all drink the same drink, even (at the moment we have 8 different drinks among the kids at breakfast and dinner by necessity).  Sometimes I wish everyone could drink from a regular cup, that they could carry their dirty dishes to the sink, wipe their own faces, wash their own hands, and for that matter, their own butts and glasses too.

Age isn’t the factor, because my 3 yr old can do all of those things on her own or with minimal supervision and assistance.  No, it’s not their age that prevents my children from being able to take care of the simplest of their own basic needs.  It’s their disabilities.

Yep, there it is… I said it :).  There are things my kids can’t do because they have Down syndrome, or cerebral palsy (or both… and autism!).

Some days I wonder what life would be like if we still had our many blessings, but if they also were able to do some of their own care.  I wonder whether I’d feel less swamped, or whether I’d be bored. 

When I have those days, those moments, and even just fleeting thoughts sometimes, they never last very long.  Why is that?  Why can something so overwhelming seem all encompassing one minute and so simple and obvious in another?

The answer is pretty clear to me.  It is because I have been given a great gift.  A gift which I couldn’t have asked for, can only receive.  One which comes along with the blessing of knowing without a shadow of a doubt that I have an assurance of salvation.  It is the working-out of the Spirit in me… it is the Fruit of the Spirit.

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gendleness, and Self Control.
I wish I was able to better exemplify this Fruit.  To show God’s fullness of Spirit in every way, and in every situation in my life.  Reality is, though, that there are days I feel run down, beaten up, and I can’t think of a single reason or conjure up the desire to show these things.  Days that I fail myself, my kids, and my husband.  Times that, really, I don’t like the person that I am.  But…

But, in the spirit of Thanksgiving… with the knowledge of Christ’s sacrifice for me… I stand back up straight, I look at my children (whom I love wholeheartedly, and despite those things that they cannot do for themselves, I do generally consider it a blessing to be ABLE to do those things for them!), and I remember with a thankful heart just how God formed our family and brought us together.  Then, the Fruit of His Spirit can once again encompass my heart and life to keep on keeping on. 

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gendleness, and Self Control.  The Fruit of the Spirit.  Given to us so we might also know the spirit of Thanksgiving.  Thanking God for His sacrifice and the many gifts and blessings we have each and every day!

November is National Adoption Month!

Delaina is 3 months old now, and is just a pound less than Micah weighed when he was adopted at 18 months.  He wore size 3-6 months clothes, including shoulder to toe sleepers.

 

 

Adoption made our family what it is today.  It brought children born a world away in to our home and hearts.  We are blessed to call ourselves their parents, and pray that many others will open their hearts and homes to be God’s hands and feet… fathers to the fatherless!

I've never been so happy to see a child has an ear infection!

First off, this morning I took Brianna and Lynae to the pediatrician to be retested for strep to be sure this THIRD round of antibiotics is working.

THEY ARE STREP FREE!!! YAY!! This is the first time in a month!

James and Micah both have run random fevers and had runny noses and we weren't sure what to do with them.  Both were negative for strep on Wednesday, so we weren't sure what was up.  Micah's ears were slightly infected, but there wasn't anything obviously wrong with James.

WELL, BOTH HAVE EAR INFECTIONS!  I've never been so happy to see that a child has an ear infection BECAUSE....

It means that we are, without a doubt, officially, NOT CONTAGIOUS ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!  The ear infections caused the fevers and they should be cleared up quickly with drops (*I hope and pray!*).  They both have ear tubes, so the infections are draining and easy to treat.

WOO HOO, can you FEEL the excitement?? LOL!

Tomorrow is our Step Up for Down Syndrome walk and if any of the kids were sick with anything that could be contagious, then we'd be splitting up and only the healthy ones going.  Now, we can ALL GO!

Ok, Yes, I was yelling with all the capitals, but I've never been so excited as to see ear infections because it explains the fevers and means we are good to go! :) :)

Pumpkin Time!

 

Yeah, we’re late, but guess what? My kids don’t care :).  Today we pulled the seeds out and scraped the “ewwwwww” out of the inside of our pumpkin, then we totally cheated and put cookie monster in the pumpkin!  Oh… but first someone else wanted to try out the pumpkin ;).

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Everyone keeping their hands to themselves… today was NOT the hands-on teaching it could have been because we don’t want to spread any more germs!  Plus, we’re going to cook the innards so didn’t want everyone’s hands in it.

Every time I pulled a bunch of the scraped innards out all the kids said “ewwwwww” in chorus.  Even though they couldn’t touch, they still had fun!

Our finished cookie monster pumpkin! (yep, totally cheating!)

A LOT of fresh pumpkin, ready to blend and steam, and a bowl of seeds ready to wash and roast!

And a little girl (who was ready for a nap) trying out the pumpkin after it was scraped!

The upward swing?? It's NOVEMBER!

I'm ready for health!

In good news, most of our children are in recovery mode, though we have some lingering coughs and runny noses.  We have had 3 days fever free for most of the children as well! YAY!!

Unfortunately, after 2 rounds of antibiotics, two of the kids still are testing positive for Strep!  Lynae is running a fever, feeling pretty puny, and she and Brianna are both still positive.  We had 7 of them tested yesterday (not Kris or Delaina) and that was the result.  We started a 3rd round of antibiotics for the two girls and are going to go in on Friday morning to retest them and be SURE that the antibiotic is working!!

Micah, Aleksa, and James all are on the tail end of being sick, we hope!  All three had pneumonia and are all still coughing some, but they no longer have pneumonia and they are all now negative for strep, so the cough may take some time to clear up.

Delaina has a little bit of a clear runny nose and is sneezing a bit.  Praying that she is just adapting to the weather changes and not getting sick!!

We now have hepa filters with UV in our family room and hepa filters in each of the kids' bedrooms.  We are hopeful that this will help cut down on the amount of airborne germs and it will help with dust and such as well.  At the very least, it can't hurt!

And today, November 1st, we're finally "well enough" to carve out a fall pumpkin together.  Here's to a fresh beginning.  We may not be all 100% and off antibiotics and everything else, but we ARE all happy and thankfully appear to be on the upward swing!

Down Syndrome Awareness Month- October 31

Brianna Swinging!

Down Syndrome Awareness Month- October 30

 

Daddy Daughter Dance 2011

Michael, Brianna, and Aleksa

More random facts about life in the sick house...

• My house is more sanitary than it has been in a very long time.
• Priorities bubble down to this: keep kids safe, keep kids away from each other, give all meds at required times, feed children, keep house sanitized to not spread germs,.... Then everything else.  In that order.
• Even the most disgusting medicine, when served with chocolate syrup and infant oatmeal, can become appealing to the right audience in a way that a promised m&m afterward couldn't accomplish alone.
• Aleksa can take great deep breaths with an inhaler without a spacer because she hates the experience and begins gasping at the sight of it.  
• I believe having pneumonia may have finally taught Aleksa how to cough.  She always muffled it and wouldn't allow any force.  Now she at least coughs when she's sleeping, even if she won't when she's wide awake...
• If you aren't leaving the house or expecting company, then if you shower and get dressed, it will work out that way.  If you don't. You'll either have to leave the house or someone will come by.
• We have a LOT of door to door sales people that come down our quiet dead end road.  They want to cut our trees, our lawn, our bushes,  shine our porch tiles, clean the driveway, sell us magazines, monitor our security system, and clean our pool.  Yet they all want money for it...
• Security system sales people creep me out.  Especially the guy that came by today.  Glad we have that all taken care of already!
• I love that each bedroom has a door that closes and opens and I can use this device to keep kids and their stuff somewhat separated.  Loving the addition even more as we experience this little bought of the plague.
• I started making a meal on the weekend that is intended to be remade as different meals throughout the week and so far it is the smartest cooking plan I've had yet.  This week is pulled BBQ pork, which will make 3 meals.  Pulled pork sandwiches were yesterday aftere it cooked in the crock pot all day, tonight was pork, sour cream, and Swiss cheese quesadillas in the sandwich press.  The last meal I'll save a few days and it may be sandwiches or quesadillas again, but I'll hunt for another variation on the theme... Any suggestions are welcome!
• 
  

It's almost NOVEMBER!

I'm so excited that it's almost November!  Why? Because October has stunk.  Seriously, we haven't had a SINGLE DAY in October without someone being sick!

October 1- Mike started getting sick (he had pneumonia, diagnosed on the 7th, and was out of commission about 11 days)
October 6- James started feeling really sick
October 8- James and Lynae were diagnosed with strep
October 9th- Kristopher, and Aleksa were diagnosed with strep and Brianna and Emma also had symptoms starting.  Micah was treated since almost everyone else had it.  Delaina avoided it though!
October 15- James diagnosed with pneumonia then hospitalized for 4 days in the PICU with respiratory distress.
October 22- Aleksa and Micah diagnosed with pneumonia AND Aleksa, Micah, Brianna, Lynae, and Emma all diagnosed with strep (AGAIN!).

Here we are October 29th and Aleksa had a temp of 105.4 (but it quickly came down with a tepid bath and meds!) on Friday night, Micah now has a thick runny nose, James started running a fever last night (again!) and has had loose bowels, Lynae ran a fever tonight for the FIRST time and has a bit of a cough, Wesley and Emma over the last 3 days or so have had up to a 100.0 temperature and have seemed "off" at times, but otherwise 'normal'.  Several of the kids have loose bowels that I was told to generally just 'expect' based on the very strong antibiotic that they are now on (James is not one of them, hence his being more unusual).

I'm SOOOO ready for all of this to be over, and I'm praying that NOVEMBER 1st, we will ALL be healthy in this house!!

Random facts:

• October 1 Michael got sick, and October 31 5 of the kids will finish this last (hopefully!!) round of antibiotics.
• Delaina and I are the only ones that haven't been on antibiotics this month.
• James finished his antibiotic regimen on Saturday and started with a fever on Sunday after 19 days on antibiotics.
• Wesley was never tested for strep because he was already on 2 different antibiotics for H. Pylori (a stomach issue from his time in the orphanage which was identified for the third time during his g-tube procedure).
• Michael, Kristopher, and Lynae all are on the same church campus for work/school/mom's morning out and that's likely where it originated since the other 6 kids are homeschooled and not really out to pick up germs, but who knows!
• In total, our pharmacies filled 29 bottles (one was pills) of antibiotics this month between 9 of our family members (some of those 'bottles' are because the liquid course required more than one bottle for one child to finish a 10 day regimen).
• We visited our pediatrician's office 3 consecutive Mondays with new issues, new diagnosis, and new regimens for treatment.  Two of those visits were for almost all (or all) of the kids.

Here's to a HEALTHY NOVEMBER!!!!!!

Down Syndrome Awareness Month- October 29

The whole gang! At Elizabeth Isajewicz’s wedding (Meredith’s sister) March 2011

Down Syndrome Awareness Month- October 28

Emma and Kristopher SWINGING!

Down Syndrome Awareness Month- October 27

 

Brianna’s PreK graduation May 2011

Down Syndrome Awareness Month- October 26

Our crew at the ZOO  May 2011

From an Adoptive Dad of Multiple Kids with Special Needs

When asked about how he feels about society's vision of large adoptive families with children with special needs, one adoptive dad very frankly shared this from his heart to other adoptive parents.  But the other adoptive parents have raised their hands and said... Though that gives us the validation of knowing we aren't alone, we aren't the only ones that need to hear it.  Written candidly, here are his thoughts:

**No, this was not written By Michael or someone else we know personally**

The general population of America is mostly ignorant and oblivious to the reality of anything beyond what they have seen/experienced in their lives. While I acknowledge that having multiple adopted children (and special needs) is unusual, I do not worry about, nor am I offended by the general idiocy we face as a family. In my opinion, adopting multiple special needs kids will teach several lessons:

1. Who your real friends (and family) are. Many friends and family can't handle "it". In my opinion that's their problem and if my life is too much for them to handle they can pound sand. I've got too much going on to baby them. Fish or cut bait, all I've got to say about that. Go for quality friends, not quantity.

2. There is more to life than the McLifestyle. We have a lot of friends with two kids, three cars, big TV and a big fancy house in a neighborhood of houses that look exactly the same. Most of them are up to their eyeballs in debt. They can keep that life because self-glorification just isn't for me... (yes there is some generalization here, but not much). The reality is that special kids don't belong in the McLifestyle - and that's NOT a bad thing.

3. Do what works for you. (And no one can tell you what that is.) I don't know why people love to give unsolicited advice. But man it's annoying when a one-child mother of a one-year old tries to act like she's "been there, done that." when it comes to our lives and our family. (The caveat to this is older grandmotherly women who raised large families - they're like the Oracle in the Matrix.) The only person who can make good judgements for what your children need is the parents - everyone else should just shut up and stand aside.

4. "Let me know what I can do to help" = "I don't really care enough to really help, so I'm just throwing out this bone knowing that for you to call me would be to admit that I'm right about adopting all those kids being a mistake." Boy this is common isn't it folks? If a friend shows up at your door with brownies, they're golden. If they show up with a mop bucket and cleaning supplies, they're your best friend (or a maid.)

5. Accept the fact that some folks just can't fathom what you do. They'll try to do the math, they'll try to figure out how you fit in the house, how you make the meals, how you handle the medical needs, etc. The reality is - we just do it... we don't think about the math, we don't wallow over ourselves when we deal with medical issues. One foot in front of the other every day... it just happens.

Final caveat - I've found that it is important to surround yourself with people who understand and accept you, your family, and the special needs of your children. For us this has created an environment of stability and safety that helps our children grow and develop. We have a strong support system through church and (parts of) our family.

Thoughts

My mind runs crazy all day long and by the time I sit down and think "I should write" it is BLANK.  Because that's the state of the mind after running around with 9 children and one adult man all day! :)

And yet, I LOVE MY LIFE, I LOVE MY FAMILY, I LOVE MY CHILDREN, AND I LOVE MY HUSBAND :)

So, today started with the get the kids up, toileted, dressed, fed, medicated, shoes on, hair up, teeth brushed, glasses on, baby nursed, bag packed, and out the door for therapies.  My mom, who returned from her 2 week stay with her sister during knee replacement surgery (VERY GLAD that my aunt is doing well and that mom was able to go there during that time!!), and promptly called me from the airport when she landed last night... agreed to stay with my two sick kids while I took the others to therapy.  (pretty sure that wasn't a complete sentence... and I don't care :) ).

Being the cruel mother that I am (yes, said with sarcasm because in our lives at this time, this is necessary, not cruel and I recognize it as such :) ), the children that are coughing nonstop and do not cover their mouths at all and have an illness which is obviously contagious based on our family having it spread so quickly... they are staying in their rooms and playing.  Or, staring at the walls if they so choose, or sleeping, or... whatever.  But they are not out in the house interacting with (meaning coughing on everything and putting things in their mouths that other people will touch) everything and everyone else.

So, this morning's babysitting was more like "watch the house, send the kids to the bathroom once, and- oh yeah, this antibiotic kills their stomachs so you might get to clean up 10 yr old poop... thank God I thought to put her in a diaper after the first incident before we left".  Which in turn became "do the dishes, catch up laundry, fold the towels, and watch Everybody Loves Raymond".  Because that's what grandma's do.  They don't just sit and make sure the kids are safe :).

I was only gone for two hours, yet somehow my mom can accomplish twice as much housework during that time as I can... Maybe it's the absence of the 5 children I took with me and the 2 at school??

Then, since I'm such a June Cleaver (HA!), I went through McDonald's drive-thru and brought home cheeseburgers for the kids and my mom, a caramel frappe for Michael, and a tea and snack wrap for myself.   Mom stayed at the house with the kids for another half hour while they ate and Michael and I went to visit his grandmother, aunt and mom at his parents' house since his grandma had a procedure done and we wanted to check in with them all.

Back home and I turned most of the last of our non-thanksgiving turkey in to turkey soup (which turned out pretty good if you ask me!   But I know you didn't ask...) and "hung out" keeping germy kids separated, finishing up the bits of laundry that needed attention, and sat on my bottom with a baby on my lap for some much needed down time.  After all, the dishes were done and the laundry was caught up!

My children are going to be sorely disappointed when I'm not spending my "busy time" disinfecting the house and washing all the extra laundry from sick kids and instead once again focus on their school work.  Or, rather, they will be excited because they actually LOVE doing school (most of them!) and they are getting tired of having free play (with very very limited toys due to sanitation's sake) and not a whole lot of structure to the days the last two weeks.

I am still standing, Michael hasn't run away yet (and after dinner I curled up in a chair with Delaina and she fell asleep and he completed showers and bed time on his own tonight while we supervised kids from a horizontal vantage point and slid a shirt over a few kids' heads that needed help), everyone has received their 40 something meds today, food has been served, the house is clean (even if it isn't completely picked up- especially the rooms that we aren't actively IN during the day with the kids), and tomorrow is a new day :).

Even when it's crazy, I love my life.

Down Syndrome Awareness Month- October 25

Emma getting ready for a sack race at school  May 2011

Down Syndrome Awareness Month- October 24

Micah Christmas 2011