One busy day!

Today I took the 6 kiddos to the zoo.  Just to make things more interesting, we met up with a friend and her 5 kids and the two of us hung out together with our crew of 11.  It was a blast! All the kids were GREAT!  Brianna and Kristopher stayed together and with us, and I brought the quad stroller for sanity purposes.  The kids all had a good time :)

After getting home, we didn't really GO home.  We went to the house for me to grab our dossier and drive to the FedEx store.  Dossier #2 (for Aleksa!) is on its way to be apostilled.  Depending on how quickly the state processes it, it could be back to me late next week.  Then it's off to Ukraine to join Wesley's dossier :)

After THAT (which took forever by the way) we drove through McD's because it was dinner time, picked up several cases of Pediasure that Mike's parents had gotten for us at BJ's and dropped off their check, then came home... finally!

The kids were great all day and we are excited to have one more piece of the adoption behind us.

Now, all we need... is a travel date! :)

The very beginning

I was going through old photos and videos, and realized that a lot of the video from our adoption was never posted due to Internet availability.  So... I believe for the first time... here are our two Eastern European sweethearts... when we first were visiting with them at the baby house.

Emma was 5 years old, 17 lbs.  She could hold her head up for brief periods of time, but her legs were limp and lifeless.  She would bend them backwards and flip them around but couldn't even begin to put weight on them.  Micah had pneumonia for his first 18 months and was 11 pounds. You can hear him wheezing and breathing, squeaking to breathe.  He basically only laid there and rocked his head back and forth.  Every once in a while he'd react to having his head and cheeks rubbed, but generally he laid stone faced or fell asleep.  The medication they used worked as a sedative as well.  Micah was wearing 3-6 month clothes, and Emma wore 18 months...

Watching this 2 1/2 years later... this is the picture of HOPE for the kids still waiting.

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Comments...

The down side to moderating comments is that not every comment gets published in a timely manner.  Sometimes a later comment will get published before an earlier one simply because I receive the initial email when I'm at home rather than on my phone on the go.  My apologies for this, but it will also continue to be that way.  I have decided to keep my comments on moderated simply because every time I decide not to, "anonymous" people tend to take advantage of that.  Thankfully, while moderated I rarely get the negative comments.  More proof that people are simply looking for a public cheap thrill.  Not that I mind not getting them when I'm moderated tho :)

Anyway, sorry about the delayed publishing, and please do not take it personally or think you've somehow offended me if it takes yours longer to be published than another!  Of course, if it is offensive or only intended to make trouble, I'll read it and delete it.  Those aren't the sweet people that are afraid they've offended though :)

Blessings, and THANK YOU for commenting.  It is always nice to receive feedback and encouraging to hear similar stories as well as questions.  More posts with answers to some of the comment questions to come.  If you have questions please feel free to post in the comments at any time.  Please leave your name if you post a comment.

While we were...

Today news circulated that another "healthy" little one in Ukraine passed away.  Such a sad thing to know that this sweet baby never knew a family's love.  I got an email (before this) from a friend requesting a copy of this poem as well.  I guess it's time to repost it.  Originally written in February 2009 when we learned of two girls' passing at an institution in Ukraine.  They had passed a YEAR previously but due to outdated information we didn't know.  Those two little ones died of the flu while I was in Ukraine with my own adoption.  In fact, they were not far from where I was, and I, too, had the flu while there.  The difference is that I had plenty of food, water, and even antiviral meds to get through it.

May God watch over all the little ones, now safe in His Embrace.
Anne Marie, November 2005-October 2010 (she was just 2 months older than Brianna...)


While we were...

While we were eating…
… they were hungry
While we were playing…
… they were restrained
While we were tucking our kids into bed…
… they were alone
While we turned up the heat…
… they laid in the icy cold
While we wrapped our children in blanket sleepers…
… they laid in their own excrement
While we sang songs and listened to music…
… they listened to the screams and cries of those around them
While we rocked our babies…
… they silently rocked themselves
While we hugged our kids…
… they scratched at their own faces and pulled their own hair for stimulation
While we cried over scraped knees…
… they moaned in their loneliness
While we brushed our daughters’ beautiful hair…
… they had their heads shaven to stave off the lice
While we fought off the flu with love and nourishment…
… they got the flu and went Home.
No longer suffering… but so many more still are.
In memory of those that have never felt the love of a family, but have passed away alone.

By: Meredith Cornish

"Yes, but they all have different fathers"

One of the things I hear a lot about our 4 kids with Down syndrome is that they all look like they "could be mine."  (**they are!!**)  But they mean it to say that they look like the kids could all be biologically related to one another-- all six of them.  Of course, James has his own fun little features, and Brianna hers, Micah has his and Emma has her very own set.  Yet there are some similarities of just luck of the draw (all of our family has blonde hair and blue eyes... so far) and others that the features of Down syndrome tend to make more prominent... like their almond shaped eyes, their cute shorter little arms or their noses that are just too sweet :).

Every once in a while I get asked, with a stare of disdain and a sure-as-anything rude comment in the making that's about to come out of their mouths... if ALL those kids are mine.

I decided that now maybe instead of saying "yes, they are."  Or saying "they all are now..." (My usual and preferred response)... I might just start answering "Yes, but they all have different fathers."  Do you think that would make them think about what a personal question they just asked (and stupid one, in my opinion, because who in their right mind would bring 6 kids to the grocery store on a Saturday if they weren't all theirs??  OH, right, that's us too when we do respite.  Darn!) Really, it doesn't bother me that much, but I still think it would be interesting to see the heads spin if I answered their question with something so outlandish that they weren't expecting that they just don't know how to reply!

Ok, off soap box.  But... really... it's kind of true.  Between our 6 kids there's 4 different fathers.  Three just happen to be adopted and that's WHY :).

They all have just ONE DADDY though :)  And he's the best!

How Facebook gave us a second chance at adoption

I've said before that I was contacted by a missionary while I was on my way to Ukraine.  What I didn't say is just how that missionary came to have my contact info.  This, alone, was led by God as well!

The missionary, Alla, told me that she liked the way a friend of mine wrote up her family profile, what she said about her family.  She requested to 'friend' her (not knowing anything about her) and learned that she had adopted children with Down syndrome from Ukraine.  That friend corresponded with Alla for a bit and then gave her my contact info and told her that I work with Reece's Rainbow to help kids with disabilities to find homes and help the parents through the process.

Alla 'innocently' emailed me and said that she knew my friend Joy through Facebook and that she ministers at orphanages in Ukraine, some of whom serve children with Down syndrome.  From her very first email she told me the region that she lives in and I replied saying that I was familiar with the region and had been to two orphanage/institutions there.  I asked if she'd ever been to the one that Aleksa was at.

Never in a million years did I expect her to respond and say that yes, she knew the institution and she then asked me for a photo of Aleksa.  (**By the way, Aleksa is the name WE have given her, not her birth name**)  I sent her two photos that I pulled off my blog using my phone while sitting in the airport in Memphis with Shelley.  She sent me back a photo from a year ago of the same little sandy brown haired sweetheart.

I am slowly sharing the details of all that God has done.  Each little piece of this story is an entire story of its own.  But the resounding theme is that our God is the God of modern day miracles.  And even IF He doesn't intend for us to bring Aleksa home, there is no question that we are to walk out this path that He's laid before us.  We'll open ourselves up to the chance of being heartbroken yet again... yes.  But there will never be a question in our minds of "did we follow God's call when He asked us to step out of our comfort zone?"

Our answer is YES.

What's yours?

PS

My goal to post every day for the 31 for 21 challenge (31 days blogging in the month of October for Down syndrome (Trisomy 21) awareness month) has, thus far, not been spoiled.  I have officially made it 1/3 of the way through and blogged every day.  I'm thinking God has given me enough 'material' to keep me going a few more days at least ;)

Thanks for following our journey!! :)

10-10-10

So it is!  Today is 10-10-10!

I'm somewhat GLAD to say there was nothing super remarkable that happened today.  Why do I say that?  Well, out of the last 4 years of 'triple digits', I know what I was doing on 3 of them.  I was in the hospital.  ONE of those occasions was WONDERFUL.  The other two, well, not something I'd like to plan on again :)

On 06.06.06 we did pre-op for Brianna's open heart surgery.  She was 5 months old and weighed 8 lbs.  She was in heart failure and hadn't gained weight in a month.  We were scared and two hours from home with our 2 yr old son back home with grandparents.  Not an easy spot to be.  We met a family the night before whose son had his open heart surgery on 06.06.06 and he was just a few weeks different in age and also has Down syndrome.  We made a friendship through that experience that will last a lifetime :).

On 07.07.07 I have no idea where we were or what we did...

On 08.08.08 we were released from the hospital after Emma's open heart surgery.  Same hospital as Brianna's!  Emma's surgery was performed on a Monday and she was released on Friday!!  The doctors and such had prepared us to be at the hospital for up to 6 months because of the severity of Emma's heart and the things they anticipated having to do to keep her alive.  God prevailed!  08.08.08 was a day of rejoicing though we did spend the day in the hospital...

On 09.09.09 we welcomed our beautiful baby Lynae into the world.  She was born via c-section, so another major surgery though one that had great benefits :).  Lynae is such a joy and a stinker.  We are blessed to have each of our children in our family!

And now, 10.10.10, we did nothing exciting... we went to church... we spent the afternoon together... I even went outside and got a little quiet time to myself in the mid-afternoon in the shade of the oak trees.  Nothing exciting, and thankfully no hospitalizations!

I hope your day was blessed by 'normal' and nothing extreme that will set a negative memory on it for remembrances to come!

The Dossier Race!!

The race is on!!

I sent paperwork off for apostille in another state last week.  Yesterday it arrived!  I also mailed off for our state background checks (again) and they should be here any day...  

Yesterday I also went to our county appraiser's office and got another copy of our county form.  The ladies that work there are great, and I was able to share a bit of our story, the 'why' in our second set of paperwork, and to share our family blog with them.  Maybe they'll come see this :).  If so, THANK YOU!! :)

It wasn't even in my radar to get more copies of our marriage certificate while I was at the county office, so next week I'll go back and get them from the clerk of courts.

I have copies of our tax forms ready, copies of our passports and 171H are available to just print off the computer.  I also have the other income letter we need (stating James' subsidy) since I'd asked for an extra copy originally.  

Aside from that... We need a second copy of Mike's employment form and a paper from our mortgage holder (both should be pretty easy to obtain) and all the "print and sign" documents.  WOW!  

We also just found out we are 'owed' about $1700 and have had our local Down Syndrome Association  sponsor Aleksa's plane ticket home (if she's able to come home).  Two friends have come forward offering to do fundraising for Aleksa, and we are SO grateful!! 

God's doing this-- it's certainly not us.  We have about $10-14k still to raise, but God has proven Himself again and again! The two friends putting together fundraisers may provide some of that, and we will see what God has planned for the rest of it if He plans to bring Aleksa into our family...

Take a close look

Notice anything between those two sets of photos?
The first two are Emma, the day I got custody of her in Ukraine.  The first is her very first ride on an airplane, the second right before her first ever bath.
The second two are Lynae, taken on Wednesday night.  One she’s playing, the second she’s sacked out COLD.
The similarities? Lynae, at 13 months and SMALL for her size… is wearing the pajama that Emma, at 5 YEARS OLD wore home from Ukraine.  (I don’t have any pic’s of Emma in that sleeper other than those, because 1- it was HARD to take pic’s when I was alone! and 2- she wore it as an under-layer since it was FREEZING…
Wow.  Perspective.
Just WOW.
And this is what it’s all about.  Why I can never let the orphan stop breaking my heart.  Because as soon as we can turn cold to THIS, I don’t even want to know.  This is real.  This is MY KIDS.  And SO many others that are still waiting. 

Hypothetically….

Now that I’ve posted Aleksa’s story, and the ‘start’ of the RR UA program… the gaps are filled in a bit better as far as her story and our story.  Why this child is so important to us, why our hearts are wrapped up in this little girl regardless of how much sense it makes.  Why we are so committed to spending time on our knees and seeking God’s will about it because it would be so easy for our hearts to just get lost in this one…
 
And so, hypothetically if God sent you to Ukraine for a little girl who then you were told you can’t bring home, then you went on to adopt 2 other children who you KNOW God led you to and God blessed your family and children.  Then He used you to minister to children and families for 2 years and added 2 more children to your home through birth and adoption.  THEN, He brought you to a place of stepping out to the unknown and said to go bring home a little boy with multiple needs and the brightest smile.


And then… out of nothing and nowhere… God brought back the little brown haired girl who you loved on and told goodbye, who has lived for 3 years in an institution in her country, and who *may* be released for adoption… now.  And you were approved for her adoption as well as the little boy, and you feel like God has led all of this and opened so many ‘impossible’ doors… yet you have no idea whether it’s all for the purpose of bringing her home or for some other reason all together…


And that leads me to where I would love some help/advice.  Hypothetically, of course… where, then, would you look for the $13-17k that would be necessary to even be able to say ‘yes’ if the director was willing to release that sweet little girl that started it all 3 years ago?


And how, oh my goodness, how, would we be able to go there and say “I’m so glad you’re willing to allow us to adopt her… but… we cannot.  Because we can’t pay for her adoption.”
We can’t say ‘yes’ without it.  And we don’t know what God’s plans may be to provide it.  So, here we are asking for creativity… guidance… help… or whatever it may mean for you personally.  What might you do in this situation?


After praying overnight about this, I’d like to ask each and every one of you to do this: pray.  Pray for us, pray for Wesley, pray for Aleksa.  Pray for the families that are deciding right now whether they will keep their child with disabilities to raise or if they will leave them at the hospital. 


And when you talk to God on our behalf, on behalf of the children that we are going to Ukraine to meet, and the children in limbo of their future, ask God what He would have you to do.  And when He speaks, act.  That’s the hardest part.

Now, some fine print for you... :)
**For reference… any funds raised for Aleksa that don’t go toward our attempts to bring her home will be donated to the RR Connecting the Rainbow Birth Parent Support… because there is where the ANSWER to the orphaned kids with disabilities lies… in education and support for their parents so they can be integrated into their own society.


** The estimated $13-17k is broken down to the following: $8500 facilitation fee, $1000 US immigration and visa fees, $1000 plane ticket (already sponsored), $200 medical, approximately $3k transportation in country (because she’s not close to where Wesley is located), and $1k orphanage donation.  Plus approximately $100/day for any time over the time we expect to take on Wesley’s adoption. 

I’ve resigned.

I’ve known it was coming, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Today I wrote my resignation letter and handed it in to the leadership team of Reece’s Rainbow.  When we committed to the adoption of Wesley in late July, Michael and I decided then and there that the  30+ hours of volunteer work each week would have to stop if we were going to add another child with multiple needs to our family.  Today was the day.  My resignation is turned in.  Today was my last day as the Reece’s Rainbow Ukraine Family Coordinator.

My work with RR started because of my love for a little brown haired beauty and here it is ending while we are again in pursuit in the same little sweetheart.

When we went to adopt Aleksa, we also met little Misha.  Misha had a family coming, so we didn’t adopt him either when Aleksa’s adoption fell through.  Because of paperwork issues, the family wasn’t able to travel for another 12 months.  By that time, Misha had been transferred to an (awful) institution and the family was adopting 3 children.  They couldn’t do a 2- facility adoption.  He waited again, and they adopted 2 referrals for other children along with the child they had gone for.

One of those two children they got was a child someone else, Chris and Mary Malone, were going to bring home. They came just a short time later and adopted the one child that was still at the orphanage and a second child… Misha… at the institution.

Why is all of this relevant?  Because it was that situation, Misha’s unnecessary transfer and the huge changes in him from the time we met him and the time he was adopted (due to institutionalization) that opened my eyes to the need.

In September 2008 I began ministry as the Ukraine Family Coordinator for Reece’s Rainbow! 

In that time the ministry grew from 7 adoptive families to the 175 that have been served over the past 2 years and over 225 children have (or are in process to) joined their families in the USA!

It’s been a blessing to serve in this capacity, and I will miss the dedicated moms and dads that I’ve served with and the parents that are working tirelessly to expand their families.

It’s not all over… I will continue to minister in short term roles through RR and possibly with CTR in the future.  But my time as the Ukraine Family Coordinator is now done.  It’s time to pass the torch.

Thank you for your continued prayers for our family, for our ministry, and for our children… those home and still waiting for us!

What was lost… and now is found…

Time for the story.  Several people have posted and said that they don’t know our story with Aleksa, but they’d like me to repost it.  And so… here is my attempt to retell the story without: 1. ruining my keyboard with tears, 2. saying anything bad about any parties involved, and 3. writing an entire novel.  Let’s see if I can at least accomplish two of the three.  (#1 is probably going to happen anyway)

In 2007 Michael and I committed to the adoption of a little girl we called Aleksa.  She was 5 years old, walking, talking some, toilet trained and someone who we thought would slide in between Kristopher and Brianna in their developmental levels.  We wanted to bring her home so she’d never have to see the inside of an institution, and have her become a part of our family.  We were SO EXCITED! 

We had her room set up with Brianna’s and we had a toddler bed set up in Kristopher’s room because we were planning on getting a second referral for a boy with Down syndrome, roughly the same age, when we requested Aleksa.  Only… we didn’t ‘announce’ publicly that we were trying for the little boy also.

In October we were told that Aleksa had been transferred to an institution.  It was a HARD reality to face.  We had no idea whether the institution would be like those publicized at that time (and earlier, but now FIXED) in Serbia where children were tied to their beds and not fed well, wasting away to nothingness and being left around in worse conditions than a dog.  We didn’t know whether she was even alive.  But we continued to press on toward her adoption, no matter what.

We traveled to her country just days before my 26th birthday and it was the best birthday gift to receive her official referral from the state department of adoptions the day before my birthday.  We were so happy, and had also received a second referral for the little boy… Misha.  We still didn’t announce him though..

We knew we were headed to an “unknown” institution.  One where we still didn’t know if we’d be allowed to bring her home.  We were aware of the possibility, but blissfully going on about our days not realizing what a reality that really was.  We visited with Aleksa three times… The first time we played, she colored, we spun tops, we blew bubbles (which she was deathly afraid of…) and we had a great time.  She had been eating an orange and we were all juicy and sticky by the time our visit was over. 

We found on that visit that Aleksa was pretty well cared for in the great scheme of things.  This institution was much more like the babyhouses, though it was only for disabled persons and seemed less staffed and… hmm… with possibly less opportunities for the kids to do things.  I think that’s a good way to put it…

We visited the second time and were told before going to see her that the director wouldn’t be allowing us to adopt her.  We still played, we still tried to help him to see that we wanted to raise her as our daughter, but he still refused.  It was a hard visit… one that, looking back, was probably one of the most difficult “fake it good” moments of my life.  I’m not very good at pretending not to be upset…

We tried a third visit, but it was for nothing.  The director had made up his mind, and that was that.  We looked at other avenues of having the adoption work but nothing was an open door.  There was no way for us to complete Aleksa’s adoption without the director’s consent, and we had to walk away.

Turning around and walking out that door and knowing that Aleksa would never come out of that facility again was another of life’s most difficult moments.  The lump in my throat, tears down my face, and fear in my heart for what this all meant was extreme. 

Though walking in to an adoption we are set up for the things that could go wrong, it’s still so very different when some of those “worst fears” come true.  When the child you dreamt of and longed to hold is in your arms for only a moment and then left behind to face the future we hoped to keep her from having to face.  Her path didn’t change… ours did. 

We prayed, read the Bible, and spent the entire night and weekend crying together.  It was a moment where our marriage was one of its strongest, because when we are weak, HE is made strong.  And He surely was.  God spoke through the most difficult circumstances, something that I would almost equivocate with the loss of a child to death (though I can’t say because I’ve never actually lost a child to death).  But God shone through.

God showed up and brought us to Bible verses that touched us in ways they never had before.  Ways that we wouldn’t have looked for if it wasn’t for the circumstances that we were in.  And though we grieved and days, weeks, years later spoke in tears about the situation, we healed as well.  We never let the brokenness go… and I knew that God didn’t intend to release me from that.  That passion and brokenness over the situation is exactly what drove me to work with the Reece’s Rainbow program for Aleksa’s country to help other parents through the process.

That, and the little boy we also left behind.  A little side story about Misha… The day we cancelled Aleksa’s adoption, we also had to cancel Misha’s.  We’d learned during that time period that Misha had a family working with RR and on their way to get him soon.  We were ok with that, and we knew that God had other plans for us.  So we met him, and we also said goodbye to him…

When Misha’s family got through their paperwork difficulties, which took an extended period of time, they discovered that he, too, had been transferred to an institution.  The boys and girls are at separate facilities, so he wasn’t where Aleksa was.  The family decided that since they were adopting 3 children, they couldn’t handle doing it from 2 separate facilities.  They instead got two unknown referrals.

Another side story… one of those unknown referrals was another child that another family was on their way to adopt.  But no one knew.  The family did adopt three boys, but not Misha.  Then… a few months later… the family that had intended to get the child that was referred to the first family (confused yet?) decided to bring home the 2nd boy they’d planned to adopt as well as Misha.  His name is now Micah Malone :).  Son of Chris and Mary, who I consider wonderful friends though we’ve never met face to face.

So… that is where my 2 years of ministry began.  Where the brokenness over the plight of orphans was embedded in me.  Where the child that we loved was left.  Where we thought “maybe our commitment to Aleksa was just to get us to go to her country so that we could bring home Emma and Micah, who desperately needed healthcare and who had no voice that could have gotten them out of there without this ‘sacrifice’ of Aleksa.

But now, we have to wonder if God had us to never stop loving Aleksa, never stop praying for her, never stop thinking about her, never remove her photo from our wall or her name from our lips… if maybe God intended to bring her home after all.  Maybe she will be more than just the child that brought us to her country, but instead be called our daughter after all this time.

Our God is a mysterious God.  He has ways MUCH bigger than any of us can comprehend.  And the roller coaster of following Him is so much more of a ‘thriller’ than any theme park could provide!! 

Our hearts remain broken for Aleksa.  Our minds not able to wrap around what God’s plans are.  Our souls knowing that God has it all planned out from the beginning of time, and that we are to follow one step at a time and not lose sight of Him, His heart, and His promises…

I’m back!

Three days with no Internet or phone almost cuts a person off from society ;)

I have actually enjoyed it, though… I’ve spent extra time outside with the kids, extra time cooking and cleaning around the house, and extra time just sitting back relaxing on a phone call (outside, on my cell phone, since I have no cell reception in the house).  It’s kinda nice :)

But I’m glad to have Internet back because some things take 20 times more time when done on a tiny little telephone keyboard and some things have been completely set aside until I could get back on a regular computer.

Back to reality, though… I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and praying in addition to more time tending to the house, kids, and hubby.  I believe that Michael and I are both at a point where we are looking for God’s provision for us to be able to say yes to adopting Aleksa if the opportunity presents itself.  I’ve been thinking about… transportation, seats at the table, bedrooms, and toys.  Clothes, doctor’s appointments, food, and toileting.  All kinds of daily task kind of stuff which we’ve been playing through what they could possibly look like if we are to adopt both Wesley and Aleksa. 

I’d love some recommendations from the experts (PARENTS) on two things:

1. A lightweight, 5 pt harness, sturdy, 1 hand steer-able, folding (TIGHT) and easily transported (airplanes and trunk) single stroller that will hold bigger kids (like Wesley).  I don’t think that the wheelchair we plan to use with him would be good to take because it’s too bulky for the little Ukrainian transportation… I’m not looking for an adaptive stroller, just a regular stroller I can buy online for travel and occasional use after.  Until we replace our vehicle, we won’t be able to transport his wheelchair in our van if we have any of the big strollers along as well, so it will be more than just the trip overseas that we’ll use it for.  We don’t have a single that is sturdy right now at all.

2. A sturdy double stroller that will hold two “bigger kids” (Wesley and Emma) that is not an arm and a leg in cost and folds down to a reasonable size.  Emma still fits in our WONDERFUL Valco stroller but not really well with the front 3rd seat attached.  So a double that will better seat Wesley and Emma to be used in conjunction with the triple for the boys and Lynae seems like it may be a good idea.  We’re not in a hurry to purchase something, nor do we have the ability to do so right now, but we’d like to be looking so we know what to get if the situation warrants it :).

I will post more about our decisions and our needs with Aleksa soon.  We’re fumbling through what we need to do and seeking out God’s will.  It appears that we won’t have a clear answer as to whether or not we’ll be bringing her home until we are in her country and have met with the director.  But we cannot say yes to her adoption without any funding for it.  That’s not only unrealistic but also irresponsible.  So now we are waiting to hear out what God’s plans are for funding this endeavor before we go.  And we’re still working through that.

Thanks to everyone that is praying!  We feel your prayers and we are truly at peace with not knowing the outcome.  As strange as it seems, I can honestly say that I know God’s will WILL be done.  And however He chooses to use this vessel to accomplish that, we are ready and waiting, open to His calling, and excited to see what it may be. 

It’s almost like we’re excited about a pregnancy and we’ve been told that there’s a possibility of twins :).  And yet, it’s so much more real to that because I’ve held and kissed on both of the children that we will be meeting overseas… One baby is an absolute blessing… as would be two…

October...

October is Down syndrome awareness month, and during the month I'm registered to take part in 31 for 21, which is a commitment to bligging all 31 days in October in acknowledgement of Down syndrome, aka Trisomy 21.

I was hesitant to sign up because life gets busy and often I'm an every 2-3 days kind of blogger.  But... i signed up, and you can follow the link on the button over there  ----------------> near the top to see more about what 31 for 21 is all about. 

In the mean time, my home Internet (and therefore phone too...) is out so this post is from the joy of the Internet phone and therefore promises to be short  :). 

Brianna went to the doctor this morning because her ear was bleeding... she's ok and we're not sure why it's bleeding... but 2 doctors took a peek and they both are ok with it.

Im working this week on putting together paperwork for the potential adoption of Aleksa.  We won't know if it's right or if it's possible until we are in country, but we will need a second dossier for it to even be an option for us.  I'm sure the doctor's office is going to love us after redoing Mike's 4 times and mine twice.

Lynae walked all over today holding just one hand of mine.  She'll be running before long!

Kristopher lost his first tooth a while back and his adult tooth looks huge! LOL  it was already coming in before the baby tooth came out and he never really had the gap.

Emma played for 2 hours yesterday with a baby doll in the car (up and back from St. Augustine) and was NICE about it the entire time!

James left his shoes on for the entire day, which is HUGE for him! And, he drank his bottle in the carseat without trouble (usually he tosses it a few times...).  Yay!

Both Micah and James walked next to the wheelchair and held on to it for parts of the day yesterday!  They both did great and are really catching on to the expectation that they stay close when we're walking in public.  If they let go they were 'off' but generally they did great!

Ok, phone tying only lasts so long...

Dirty Laundry

Dirty laundry was my nemesis.  We were archenemies, formed before the beginning of the day and lasting well into the night.  Not allowing one another an inch of space and always colliding at the most inopportune times.  With 8 of us in our home, dirty laundry is created from the dust (quite literally) and appears miraculously at any moment of any day and in any size and style.

The battle has gone on for 28 years now, since I know that dirty laundry attacked even before I really knew it existed and continued to plague me growing up and then in high school, college, early married life, and now.

But the battle will be won!!

There are so many parts of having a large family that need, no, they require a system, a way of doing things, a great organization to them.  It’s not that I’m a super organized person.  In fact coming to my house unannounced today would definitely give you a very clear indication that that’s not true.  But God’s given us 6 little blessings and with the joy of their upbringing He’s also given us a responsibility to them. 

A responsibility to love them, to care for them, to provide for their needs, to educate them, to spend time with them, to feed and clothe them, to play with them, to keep them safe, and yes, to wash all their dirty laundry too.

Being the impatient and busy mom that I can be at times, laundry often has gotten the better of me and we’ve lived from basket to basket, frequently running laundry at midnight to be sure there’s clean socks for the next day and saying “those pants didn’t get so dirty” (which there is absolutely nothing wrong with ) and sending the kids off to play in yesterday’s pants while the laundry once again made its spinning magic in the machine.

As God has added children, responsibility, and more dirty socks to our family, He has also slowly showed us ways that we can do things like tackle the dirty laundry beast without taking unnecessary time away from the joyful parts of parenthood and doing it more efficiently and really just easier so that I no longer have a hate/hate relationship with the evil dirty laundry monster.  Instead it is love/hate because I am so grateful for the way that things work SO easily that each and every morning I am blessed by clean laundry and clothes that the kids can wear for whatever adventures the day may hold!

Today we have a closet.  Just one, really, but it has taken over what used to be half of the office.  It’s one long wall of the office and is right off of our laundry room.  Having the right tools and space to manage a large family are absolutely helpful, but  not 100% necessary.  I love our oversized front loaders which do twice as much laundry at a time as our old washer and dryer, but this ‘system’ has been in place since before we replaced our washer and dryer.  And it began to take shape before the laundry monster kicked Michael out of half of the office. 

It originally took shape in the closet in Kristopher and Brianna’s room.  There are so many ways for this to work for different families with different space and resources, so be creative in seeing if it’s something that might help you slay the dirty laundry dragon in your own home.

For us, it originally meant that we invested in extra laundry baskets (the great $5 variety, a total of $15) and an extra rod and brackets for the closet in one bedroom (about $15).  We took everything out of the bedroom that wasn’t for sleeping, and put all of the kids’ dressers into that one room.  We put ALL of the kids’ clothes in the one bedroom!  Two kids’ clothes went up and two kids’ clothes went down in the closet.  This was when we were just about to have Lynae, and her clothes did stay separate for a while.

Having all 4 of the older kids’ clothes in the same room meant that as I did the laundry, it all went to ONE place.  Then, once a week, I’d hang the clothes that needed hanging, fold the ones that needed folding, and everything would be a fresh start for the next week.  I later added in the hanging plastic or canvas baskets which allows 6 or 7 days worth of clothes to be put out so things are prepared for the coming week.   This way when I put away clothes, I also set them up for the coming week and I only have to go into the room and grab out 6 little outfits the night before in order to set them on the coffee table and have them ready to go the next morning!

Now that our family and dirty laundry monster have expanded, our needs grew and we had to adjust as well.  The dirty laundry monster hasn’t repossessed our time or energy, or our entire household, again, though.  Instead, we’ve grown our system and ‘traded up’ into taking over part of the office.  An added benefit to having the clothes outside of the bedroom areas is that I now can tackle the beast at times when the kids are sleeping, which makes things even better since all our kids are so little and need more supervision than most other larger families. 

I would actually consider swapping out MY clothes in MY closet for the kids’ clothes and having all of theirs in the larger master bedroom closet, splitting up Michael’s and mine into different kids’ rooms in order to be able to tackle all their laundry when they’re sleeping and only having to do our adult laundry sort and folding when the kids are awake.  Yes, it would take more planning as far as having our own clothes out and ready the night before each time, but it’s another solution we’ve considered before determining that our office would be the best solution.

Six little dressers in a row… six sections of hanging clothes… and six hanging baskets each with six days of clothes ready to go in them.  That’s how we’ve tackled the laundry beast!  Dirty laundry goes from the (oversized) hamper to the washer and dryer, and into the office where it waits (out of sight and out of the way) until I can tackle the job, sort, fold, and lay out clothes for the week!

In order to help just a bit, I also often quickly grab out all the shirts and things that will get wrinkled and lay them flat on a table in the office after washing each load so that I’m not having to iron (who are we kidding here?  REWASH…) anything that won’t straighten out by hanging.  We also have added a shelf above the hanging rods that hold large plastic bins.  Clothes that the kids outgrow, or things that I’ve bought in the next size up (on clearance sales which is the absolute best way to buy clothes—next to garage sales and hand-me-downs, maybe) are all sorted, labeled, and in the top of the ‘closet’ ready and waiting.

What did we do with the now-empty closets in the kids’ rooms?  In the winter, I hang the more summery shirts that fit the kids at the end of the season in one closet.  In the summer the jackets and long sleeves go in there.  This way they’re still accessible in an unseasonably warm or cool day, but they’re not in the middle of our everyday clothes.  I also use the closets for storage of things that might have been in the office previously that might have been ‘offset’ by our closet moving there.  If necessary, bi-fold door locks are available to keep the kids from being able to open the doors and get into anything that I may not want them tackling.

There it is, the dirty laundry monster and how we, as a family of 8 and growing, overcome it on a daily and weekly basis.  God gives us blessings and responsibility, and it’s up to us to find the tools and organization to make it work in the best way possible so that we can accomplish the goals that He has for us and to make the best use of our time and resources!

*I know several other ‘real life’ friends that also do similar things, and it is affectionately called a “Duggar Closet” based on the large family who I understand has something similar… but I’ve never actually followed that family or seen their shows, so I have no idea how it may be similar or different.  I am just sharing the way that we have adapted to the needs of our family and children in one of the very practical ways that I believe make the days go so much smoother (and more fun!) than ways we’ve operated in the past.*

A much overdue post

I’ve wanted to post this for a while, but… I haven’t had the minute!!

An update on the kids!!

Emma is doing great.  She is just about WALKING with just a hand-held assist.  My right hand, her left… and she almost looks like I could let go and have her walk along on her own.  Of course… that doesn’t work.  But it almost looks like it could :).  She’s being defiant in school.  Not listening to the teacher, not wanting to participate.  I think some of that is that she doesn’t understand everything that’s going on or what’s being asked of her.  She’s catching on, though… and hopefully she’ll start figuring out the new teacher and new routine.  They’re using Handwriting Without Tears, which I love!  But even the basics of “big line” is beyond what Emma’s ready for right now.

Kristopher lost a tooth!  He wanted to lose one SO BADLY, then, had no idea it was even really loose until it was gone.  He swallowed it with his sandwich at school ;).  What a big boy… goodness…  He’s doing great in school, reading well, doing great in math, and doing well with his Busy Bee reading program too!  Right now he’s attending our children’s church on Wednesday night but not doing any other activities outside of school.  We’ll consider something in the winter, but for right now we’re focusing on the school routine and just family time.  He’s enjoying school and keeping busy at home, and all around being a good sweet kid :)

Brianna has adjusted in to the school routine really well!  She loves her teacher and enjoys going to school.  She’s had her defiant days as well, but for the most part she’s doing well.  Brianna is just about toilet trained, only having accidents when she’s not reminded, but she’ll say yes or no that she needs to go or not, and will go consistently when she is trying.  When she’s home she can wear underwear but we haven’t ventured that direction for school yet.  Brianna is enjoying being the ‘leader’ with James and Micah and helping to show them the ropes of new adventures both at home and at school.  She also thinks she’s big stuff… and loves to pretend wrestle with Lynae and be bossy to pretty much everyone in the house :).

James is doing great walking!  I just had his IEP meeting yesterday and I’ll do a separate post about it, but he is doing well at school and beginning to show his true colors and his skills in the school environment.  He has become much more social with the other kids at home as well.  James is back to eating regularly and has healed up well from his stomach illnesses.  He’s eating purees and working toward more textures and such, but it’s great that he has his appetite back!  He has become more affectionate to all of us and has adjusted great to our home.  After I was gone for a week he wasn’t sure he was happy with me for about a day, but after that he was right back to his true self.

Micah is having most of his BMs on the toilet!  That’s a big thing around here :).  He’s learning well and doing new things.  Especially boundaries and expectations.  He is waiting by the kitchen gate nicely before going to the table, and is walking in and out of the house to the car independently and listening in other ways as well.  Micah is doing well at school and since his tonsils surgery as well as getting an aide in the classroom he has been SO MUCH healthier!  Micah has a new aide this year and things are still being worked through as far as the ways that he’s dealt with or how his behaviors are managed.  But he is in general doing well!  And it’s great to see him maturing and learning new skills :)

Lynae is just a peanut and so happy all the time.  Unless, of course, you put her down :).  She’s definitely the baby of the family!  Lyane is starting to walk, mostly still cruising and walking with push toys or with a finger right now.  She’s starting to get interested in the idea of walking by herself, though, and I think that will turn into independent walking pretty quickly.  It’s hard to believe she’s already a year old!!  She is eating great- everything we put in front of her- but is still such a tiny little thing!  Lynae loves to laugh, to play, and to follow the other kids around and make trouble.  She only barely hesitated when I got home about me being back.  The next morning she didn’t want me to put her down but only a day of that and she’s back to her usual self.

Though it already feels like we’ve missed a kid in that rundown (I guess maybe I’ve started counting to 7 already…), we are all doing great! 

We have an update on “our” Aleksa!

Here’s the short story… a missionary emailed me when I was on my way to Ukraine.  Through several exchanged emails we discovered that she had ministered at the institution where Aleksa is!  We exchanged photos of her, and she is alive and well :).  I shared with the missionary about the Ds conference, and the missionary group she ministers with came and we met in person!  She’s a very sweet person inside and out, and so is her ministering team! 

They went to the institution yesterday and brought a photo of our family to the director.  They told him about us again, and he wasn’t much interested, but they broached the subject of adoption with him.  His response was for us to prepare our papers, come, and we would talk.

Now… we weren’t even considering adopting two children right now!  In fact, we only applied to immigration for one child.  We aren’t sure we’re prepared to add both an 8 year old and little Wesley (who IS coming home—no question there) to our family.  We don’t know whether Aleksa would be ‘released’ even if we do try. 

But we can’t ignore that the director has invited us to come.  And we can’t ignore the timing of this encounter with the missionary.  And we can’t ignore that though we applied to immigration for only one child… we received approval for two.

So we’re taking one step at a time.  We’ve committed ourselves to walk as God leads.  We’ve said “yes”, not necessarily to adoption, but to staying open to whatever God has planned.  One step at a time, as God leads. 

We can’t do this alone. 

Please pray with us.  For clarity, discernment, peace, and most of all, for Aleksa and her future.  Whether it be here or there.  I will update again soon, fill you in as we walk this out.  For now, here’s “our” Aleksa, age 8…

Today is...

National Adoption day in Ukraine!

A perfect day to be SUBMITTED :) :)!

Our paperwork was turned in to the SDA today and now we are waiting for a travel date.  A big step forward!  Most people have worked for months at this point, and this is the final sigh of relief since everything that was put together is all complete.  For us, it is surreal in a way because we are still in the mindset of 'just starting'.  But what a blessing it is!  It has been 9 1/2 weeks since we committed to bring Wesley home.

Prayers for discernment and clarity as we determine what other things God has for us to do while we are in country for the adoption would be much appreciated!  He has been whispering in our ears but the answers aren't clear yet.

Thanks! :)  Now it's time to celebrate... (by going to James' IEP meeting? LOL)

One less...

Well worth the time.

One Less by Matthew West (The Story Behind The Song) from emicmg on Vimeo.