Dimes and Lessons

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Ok, so it's no secret that we've got some issues going on with Kristopher, and by the way I do appreciate all the comments with ideas on them. I have been thinking through some and may implement a few of them. For now, I'm doing something that will hopefully build up good character traits as well as help Kristopher to want to behave.

Here's how it works...

With Christmas coming we're going to let Kristopher buy gifts for his siblings. If you know Kristopher well, you'll know that he LOVES giving things to people. A birthday present for a friend, a toy for one of the little ones, something he made for a grandparent, doesn't matter. He LOVES to give gifts. This is one part of his heart that's in the right place ;) (ok, so there's more than just that, but we'll build on the good stuff we see!). Now, he can't buy anything without money. REAL money. But he doesn't have any, he's 4.

This is where his desire to buy his siblings gifts meets our need for a routine and regimen. Call it allowance. Call it bribing. But it is working :) During the day there are certain tasks that he knows he has to do. Get dressed. Put his PJs away in the hamper or on his bed depending on if they're to be worn again. Eat breakfast- whatever we serve without making a big fuss about it. At bedtime he needs to brush his teeth, put his clothes in the hamper, and go to bed without continuously coming out.

These are some things that he's generally good at doing but often we're hitting the attitude with them. Now if he does them with a good attitude, he will have a dime added to his 'pot'. He can also earn dimes by doing small tasks like putting a new bag in the trash can this morning or pulling the clean clothes out of the dryer. In the family room he put the little guys' toys and filled up one bin. There are two, so he had a chance to earn 2 dimes. He chose to do one and that's fine. The idea is that there are some times that he is told "you need to do this now" and some times where he's offered a choice "if you want to earn a dime I could use your help picking up the babies' toys". Regardless, he needs to have a good attitude about it and do it in a timely fashion if he is going to do it.

Of course I looked down the road 3 weeks when this isn't as "fun" for him anymore and I thought... He might just say "I don't want to buy ___ a present anyway" when his attitude comes back full swing. So... this is probably not a great way to teach giving... but this is what we did this time anyway... We told Kristopher that for each person he earns the money to buy a gift for he will also be given a gift from them. (And we intend to shape him until he does indeed get something for each of them, even if it's a $1 toy each because we don't want him picking who to buy for).

Oh, and I know he doesn't completely understand money and worth and all that good stuff yet, but we explained it all as if he does. We told him that 25 dimes is $2.5o and that would buy him a "big" gift for a sibling. We are going to implement the 1:1 gift rule that my parents used for the kids when I was growing up. For gifts to family members at Christmas, we pay for half. So $2.50 will give Kristopher $5 in buying power. That's what we're aiming for with him as it would mean he has to earn 75 dimes between now and shopping day. With MANY chances per day, that shouldn't be too bad. I'll be getting him a gift card with $5 on it when he's earned enough to go shopping. He LOVES carrying around a gift card and handing it to the cashier to pay for his own purchase. Makes it so much more 'real' than shopping and just adding it to Mom's stack of groceries or whatever.

I've seen a change in him today as I've offered redirection a few times when he's acted out so far. I've offered several projects throughout the day and he's done a few of them. Mostly when he was acting up. Positive channels for an energetic boy :) I also have seen less of the attitude today, though it's still reared its ugly head several times. He still receives discipline for doing things he shouldn't, like pulling toys out of Emma's hands or peeling the decals off his bed (AGAIN...). This is not taking away the fact that he's got to learn not to do the bad behaviors. This is giving him a reason to focus on the good ones and to do so respectfully!

And as I type this Emma is taking everything out of the bin he filled and throwing it all out to the side and behind her. She'll keep Kristopher in business for sure!!!

Our day

Would you know that I took the two girls to the ENT this morning and we came home with a report saying “NO CHANGES FOR 6 MONTHS”!?  YAY!  Of course it couldn’t be a complete non-event and Emma’s tubes have both come out, but the good part is that they’re not ‘lodged’ and the ear isn’t building up fluid, so no reason to replace them right now.  In fact, since her ears were cleaned out good for the first time in her life at the time the tubes were first placed, it’s possible she’ll never need tubes again. YIPPEE!  I now have an appointment in 6 months for the 3 little ones to see the ENT all together.  That should be fun.

On my way to drive the 30 minutes to the doctor’s office I realized I was being followed (closely) by a police officer.  It doesn’t generally bother me since I don’t speed anyway but this guy sat right behind me for EVER.  He actually turned just 2 blocks away from my destination.  Then after the appointment I pulled out of the office and onto the small side street and lo and behold there’s an officer standing on the side of the road with his radar gun.  I smiled and waved :)  He actually waved back! LOL  Usually they give me a dirty look when I wave :P  I do wonder, though, how he intended to pull people over.  I didn’t even see his car.

Of course that reminded me of one of our lovely trips in Ukraine when we were driving along (I was asleep in the back seat) and all the sudden we stopped on a highway.  I sat up and looked out the window to see a Ukrainian police officer standing by the window writing a ticket!  We were going 100 in a 50 (KM/hr) and got a ticket.  The police simply waive at you and you pull over there!  There’s no car pulling out, lights and sirens.  Just a guy with a stick light!

Anyway, after I left the ENT I got back out on the road and would you know that ANOTHER officer starts in on my tail?  You’d have thought I had done something or maybe they were searching for a gold E-530 and kept sending in my plates to find I wasn’t a match?  I don’t know, but he followed me all the way back to my town until I turned off the highway to go to the church.

Anyone know of a fugitive in a Gold Ford?

Book Review: Up Close: A Mother’s View

http://www.bunkerhillpublishing.com/Books/upclose.htm

My first blog book review!  After the Buddy Cruise I posted that I’d bought two books written by men with Ds whom I’d met on the cruise.  Shortly after that post I was contacted by Bunker Hill Publishing requesting a review of this newly released book Up Close: A  Mother’s View.  Of course I jumped at the chance because two of my loves put together is a great thing!  Reading and Down syndrome!  The other two book reviews will be coming soon :)

When Up Close: A Mother’s View arrived in the mail my first thought was “wow, this is a NICE QUALITY!”  This hard back book with a dust cover immediately draws your eye.  Then flipping through it I was captured by several of the photographs.  This book is a photographic journal with short tidbits of text on most opposing pages.  Full page photos show great detail and more than that, the obvious relationship and love between the subject- Ophir- and the photographer- her mother.

This book shows the raw emotions, not the buttered up thoughts, of a mother receiving a diagnosis of Down syndrome shortly after the birth of her first child and the next 12 years after that as together they suffered loss through miscarriage, the birth of another daughter, and life with Ophir and Noa.

As I read through the short entries about Ophir and her mother I thought on my own journey as well.  Some of it I could relate so well to.  Some is further down the road for me and as with all children as they’re so much different from one another, some things she experienced I couldn’t quite relate to, but I could understand.  After all, every journey is different and in the introduction the author is quick to point out that this is her journey, one that is different from everyone else’s just as each child is different from another.

This is a book of a beautiful photographic journey through the early years of the life of a family with a child with Ds!  It would make a great conversation starter for raising awareness with family members, grandparents, and friends since it so simply presents life and both the difficult and simply joyful parts of parenting a child with Down syndrome.   It is a great first- insight to life with a child with Ds and I believe would be a good addition to welcome baby packages for families receiving a diagnosis of Down syndrome.

I highly recommend Up Close: A Mother’s View to all parents, caregivers, family members, and community members that want to broaden their perspective and have an inside glimpse of a mother’s journey through childhood with her daughter.

Though the photography is beautiful and the subjects innocent and pure, this book does have several photos which are appropriately shot but depict nudity.  They are absolutely not inappropriate to the book or in the way they’re taken, but I think it’s important to mention that as I would not be comfortable having this book out when we have young boys or teenage guests that might decide to leaf through it.  Of course those of you that read my blog by now have figured out that I’m very much on the conservative side of that.  My husband, my children (yes, even Kristopher at his age would be fine seeing everything in the book), our parents- all of them will probably get to look through this book and read it.  My parents’ foster boys will not :)

I know that this Christmas season this book will be a great addition to many family gift lists!

Thank you, Bunker Hill Publishing, for allowing me the opportunity to get a ‘first look’ at this great book! 

Picture this...

I'm sitting in my son's "disc" chair (about 9" off the ground) with a my knees folded up and a keyboard propped up on my lap using a trackball toddler mouse.

My computer fell off the couch... No, it wasn't me OR the kids this time... and it is not charging the battery anymore. Yes, same problem as the last computer, hence the 'accidental damage warranty' we purchased this time around. UGH. Luckily the hard drive is fine, the computer itself is ok, it's just the connection from the power plug inside the machine that's having issues.

We're pulling files off and will bring it to Staples tomorrow or Tuesday for repair. Fun times...

Until then I won't be spending all that much time in this position since... well... it's just NOT COMFORTABLE! LOL I'll be back on more once the laptop is repaired.

Have I mentioned lately

How much my husband amazes me? Ok, so today maybe I have... but once again he has pleasantly surprised me. I mentioned a bit ago that my camera died. Lens error. I figured I was getting a new camera for Christmas (again) and we picked out the same one since I really did like it and we decided we'd just buy a warranty with it this time ($30). After all, even with the warranty it's still only as much $$ as a new one of the next step up would be.

HE FIXED IT! Mike took my camera apart and fixed it! WOO HOO!!! Saved us $100 too :)

Has it really been ELEVEN years?

I don't feel old enough for it to have been ELEVEN years since Mike and I started dating!
Here are some pictures from the first few years we dated

Soon after we started dating, Mike was probably 16, Mike's senior picture

We were engaged in this picture. I only know this because I wore my promise ring (purity ring) on my hand until I had an engagement ring. Then I wore it on my necklace with my cross because otherwise it would look like I was already married and it only fit that one finger :) Now I wear that same promise ring on my other hand... it eventually fit! The ring I dedicated as a promise ring was also a family ring that was given to each of my siblings at the church ceremony we had after court finalizing the adoption of my first adopted sibling. It first represented the unending promise of a family. Then the promise of purity. I continue to wear it as a testament to both!

I don't have any other pic's of myself on the computer from that time...but no worries you're not missing anything LOL

Here's the first few years- condensed- of Mike's and my relationship :)

Not too many people can say that they met when they were in junior high- or that they remember the day that they met their spouse. We can! Mike had just moved to the south end of our town and was beginning junior high at a different school than all of his previous classmates. The day before school started he'd gone out on a youth group trip with friends on a boat and while treading water behind it, he kicked the propeller. If you ask him he'll tell you a great story about how he was saving a friend from an alligator and he kicked it in the mouth and that he has the scars to prove it. If you ask him. But he kicked a boat propeller :)

Anyway... he ended up having surgery as he'd sliced through the tendons on the top of his foot and was on crutches and in a cast when he went to school the SECOND day of school. That's the day we met.

Though it was also my second day in school, I'm the third of then four children (later added 2 more through adoption) and the teachers all knew 'of' me and knew my sister and brother. So they kind of figured I'd be ok with carrying a kid no one knew's backpack around school. Mike and I were in a lot of the same classes and because they were upper level classes we got to meet in the portables. Not sure why that is, but all of our classes were out there! Anyway, I spent the first week of junior high carrying Mike's bag around school for him.

Mike somehow weaseled his way into convincing me that he needed help with some school work that he hadn't caught on to after missing a day here and there of school because of his foot so he came over to the house. I remember sitting outside talking when he asked to go out with him. In fact, it was at the same house we now live in :) Of course I said yes... what else was I going to say? But when I saw him the next day I told him no, I didn't really want to go out. Our first dating relationship lasted less than 24 hours... and we never did 'go out'!

The next three years we were in classes together and saw each other often. We weren't enemies, we just weren't friends. Mike had a way about him... he was a junior high boy! It was annoying :) Later that same year I was sitting on the bench at a basketball game (I was on the school team) and I had a brace on one ankle from an injury the prior year that needed support for me to run. The ball came at me along with all the players and one of them landed on... my GOOD leg. I ended up having a bruised bone (didn't even know that was possible) and I was on crutches for 2 weeks with a brace on BOTH feet.

When walking around campus (I carried my own bag or had a girlfriend do it for me ;) ) Mike would often come up behind me and try to kick my crutches out or would kick my good foot out from under me. Of course all in good fun. He was a junior high boy... Then in 9th grade I ended up with another cast on my foot from reinjuring the foot I'd hurt in 6th grade. Mike sat behind me in geometry class at the high school that year and would color on my looong hair- one strand at a time- with his ball point pen. Junior high was over, but he was still a boy :)

In 10th grade we had just begun a new set of classes when I saw Mike coming up to the front office on crutches, his foot in a cast. I wasn't a friend, he wasn't someone I talked to often, but I was not going to ignore him and I asked what had happened. At a football game he was the first on a tackle and when everyone else landed on him his foot made like a fist- he'd dislocated every one of his metatarsals on his foot. Surgery and lots of pins later he was back at school. At least he had a good story this time :) That same day in our math class with Mr. Davis Mike came into class late after hobbling up the stairs. After all, you have to wait 20 minutes to get someone to come with a key to the elevator and it was on the second story.

So Mr. Davis, kind man that he was, knew my family. In fact, he had my parents in school before having my brother, then my sister, and now- in this new set of classes- he had me. Well, Mr. Davis knew that I would be willing to be helpful to another student and yes, he asked me to carry Mike's backpack and to get the administrator for the elevator key after class. We joke about it now, but I do wonder how much Mike paid for the teachers to get me to carry his bag... what are the chances that two teachers at two different schools would both ask me to carry his bag when he hurt himself twice? Hmm...

Well, this was it and it was what got Mike and I talking. We hung out for several months after that- always with groups and with friends. He had his driver's license but wasn't allowed to drive because of his foot for a long time. We met up at a town 'haunted house' once when a girlfriend, her boyfriend, and I had gone. He ended up jumping over with us from the group he'd come with and we all hung out for a while after. One of the only times in my life that I've gone TPing, but we did that night, we got one of my neighbor's houses and Mike hopped everywhere with his cast on. We all jumped back in the car and Mike's crutch hit the roof of the car making a 'bang' sound. With that the person driving thought the car door had closed and started to drive away with Mike hanging on for dear life trying to climb in the car.

From that time on Mike started asking me if I wanted to go out. "NO." How about here? "NO." How about this? "NO." How about... finally, about 3 weeks later, he'd gotten his cast off and asked if he could take me down to the bowling alley, we'd play pool, just hang out (though my parents despised the term!). I finally caved and thought that if I went with him just once that maybe he'd leave me alone!

He didn't :) In fact, after we played pool that night we walked back out to the car and he leaned over and kissed me. Then he looked at me and said "So, you want to go out?" Hmm... nothing like being cornered!! What can you say after a guy kisses you? "Um... no, not really!" So of course, I said "ok". And I knew better than to find him at school the next day and say "well, not really..." AGAIN. I do remember having the thought go through my head that night that I could 'go out' with him for a few months and then we'd call it off and maybe... MAYBE... he'd leave me alone for a while.

I'm so very glad that neither Mike nor God were so easily swayed! From day one of our dating relationship we have never looked back. Never said "no, not really". Never taken a break from dating to see what else was out there. Never stood to the side and said "this isn't right." Never questioned that God was at work in our lives and our relationship.

THE THING that has kept our relationship together and strong is our Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and His power in our lives. One year before we started dating I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior. A few months after we started dating Mike rededicated his life to the Lord. Our faith always has- and always will- be the backbone of our relationship and eleven years after that first kiss... I can say without a doubt that I'm so very blessed to have been pursued. Both by a God who loves each one of us and pursues us to become His children and accept the forgiveness that His Son Jesus bought with his life's sacrifice and resurrection, and by a loving and Godly man that lives to put his Heavenly Father first, his family second, and himself third.

Counting my blessings today and every day. If you haven't already surrendered and said "I'll try this for a time" to God... realize He's pursuing you, and He won't give up just because you tell him no over and over again. Not only that, once you say 'yes', you'll never WANT to turn back and you'll be grateful for the new love story that He builds in your life. Courting the Savior is a wonderful thing.

Our wedding day, July 14, 2001

Kristopher

Here's some of K's antics today...

Mommy, we are going on a trip and I want you to pack my clothes. We're gonna bring our toys to everyone around the world (can you tell they just dedicated the operation christmas child boxes at school?). But we're not going to just leave them there, we need to bring the kids back here for a sleepover and we'll adopt them so they can still play with the toys later. Is that ok? Can I wear this?

Is today tomorrow? Because I want to go to "H's" birthday party.

Oh man, Brianna and Emma, I just finished cleaning up all those toys and now I have to do it all over again! (with no prompting, he then started cleaning back up the bin of toys that yes, he'd just picked up 5 minutes prior! Sometimes the kiddos CAN be a big help....)

On another note, Kristopher has been having some behavior issues here lately. It's like he's become a different kid in the past 2 or 3 months. He's transformed from being respectful, kind, and generally a good kid to being mouthy, mean, and making me say to myself "WHERE DID THIS CHILD COME FROM?" a few times a day. I'd love to think that it's just a phase and he'll grow out of it. I'd love to think that strong discipline and strong love will bring back our 'old Kristopher'. I'd also love to think that it's his age and all kids go through it. I might even say it's his still adjusting to new siblings. But I know better.

I know that the behaviors I'm seeing are the same ones exhibited by some of the kids in his class at school. And he's catching on. Fast.

Let me start this with a disclaimer: Kristopher goes to a private preschool at our church right now and I don't find fault with the program AT ALL. I like his teacher and aide, I like the administration, there's nothing that I would ask for them to do differently. There's no easy fix to stop the behaviors from coming home. There is NO ONE AT FAULT with the school for his picking up these behaviors. It's simply that he's at an age where kids' behaviors are EASILY picked up. And I'm so very tempted to just keep him home despite how much he LOVES SCHOOL.

Earlier this week I had the thought that went something like this... he didn't do these things before starting school but now slowly, as he's 'warmed up' at school and made friends, he's gotten worse, and worse, and worse. Some days I just want to home school him because after a few days away from school with some strong discipline, he IS different. He DOES go back to his sweet self. Then he goes back to school and it starts all over again. So what do we do? It's a good school, good teachers, even good kids! It's just that kids will be kids and there are some (everywhere...) whose parents aren't as "strong" as we are on discipline and issues of the mouth... and hands...

I will not just look away when my son walks out of the room being mouthy to myself or to Mike and thankfully he hasn't done it to anyone else to my knowledge. I will not allow him to hit, kick, push, or take things away from anyone else either. To me that's called bullying and just because the other kids are smaller doesn't give him any rights above them. I will not let him throw things, lash out, or be verbally unkind to anyone without him expecting a consequence for that action.

I also know better than to think that taking away all of his toys, computer time, tv time, and every other activity under the sun will make the behaviors go away. Yes, some at a time, but not ALL. Because a bored child is a child IN EVEN MORE TROUBLE. And there's no question in my mind that he will act out more if he doesn't have enough things to do.

One day earlier this week I posted about K's behavior and what we did as a result. Then on Wednesday we had another issue. K had first stacked up a ton of blocks on the glass coffee table. I told him once that it wasn't allowed from another room. I told him a second time that I was coming to check on him (both times he replied and I gave him ample time to make the right decision before going to the living room). I finally did go in to find him walking out of the living room to the playroom to get MORE blocks and he KICKED EMMA on his way through simply because she was between him and the blocks! I was fuming!

K was told to sit on the couch for quite some time and in the mean time I called Mike. I don't make consequence decisions when I'm 'hot' and I knew this was one that needed Daddy input on what the consequence should be. K ended up being told he'd be going to bed early with no story and that he had lost privileges for the day. He was given a piece of lined paper with his name written on it to practice writing his name on. Then another paper with uppercase letters. Then another paper with lowercase letters. He didn't think of this as any punishment, but it meant he was in a VERY structured situation and he was doing something basically by himself with me guiding him and checking in on him. His desk is in the family room right now and he was to be IN IT and working on this. By the time he'd done those three things it was about time for the kids to have ST and he was allowed to play Starfall.com (an academic website) while they worked with ST. Mike brought home Chinese food (since after all this I hadn't cooked...) and the kids ate while the last person finished up ST. 6:00 and he put on pajamas, sat and played quietly for a little bit, and 7:00 he was in bed. It turned out to be an ok evening, but man oh man...

I don't like having to take away his ability to play freely and interact with his siblings. In fact, right now he and Brianna are in his room playing nicely... but this attitude, the disregard for others, the mouth running off, it's just not something that's going to stick around.

Any thoughts? Advice? Been there done that and wrote a book I should read? Complaints that I'm too hard on my kid? Whatever you got, go for it... I'll hear you out (but as always please be respectful!) I know there are seasons for everyone and kids especially go through times of testing. It hasn't been constant with K, it's been a week or two here and there it just seems like each time it comes up it's worse than the last.

The hardest part is that I think if I decided to keep him home, we wouldn't be having this trouble... yet he LOVES school and quite frankly he does great while he's there, enjoys the social time, is learning what he should... it's just his attitude that needs adjusting.

Kids helping out

One of my online groups has been talking about how your kids help (or don't help) around the house. Obviously picking up toys is one area K can help out with. He might not have made the mess, but he always helps spread it. We don't have a rule around here that you only clean up your own messes because I often clean his up and he is sometimes asked to clean up the baby toys too.

Here are a few of the things that Kristopher knows how to help do around the house:

• set out plates, forks, and cups for everyone (if they're within his reach) for dinner
  
• get a snack out of the pantry (generally with permission) or fridge and open it himself
  
• pick up clothes and put them in the hamper or guest room depending on whether they're clean or dirty
• pick up toys and put them where they belong
• re-construct the changing table (diapers in diaper baskets, shoes in shoe basket, etc.) if it's been undone my our little destroyer
• put a new trash bag in the kitchen trash can
• use kids' scissors to cut the wrapper off of the packs of ensure and put them on the shelf after we grocery shop
  
• put away babyfood jars in the pantry and other crackers and such where they go after we grocery shop
• while we shop he can walk up the aisle a short way and pick out something by color/item (like- get the green box of crackers on the bottom shelf and right next to you grab a box of cornbread mix)
• bring clothes to the bedrooms and put them in the appropriate drawers if they're already sorted and given to him one set at a time with directions of which drawer they go in
  
• put lunchboxes and his book bag and school folder in the front foyer cubbies

Of course he doesn't ALWAYS do these things, but these are some of the things he might be asked to help with that he's able to do well on his own to be helpful around the house.

Brianna helps as well and will generally take Kristopher's lead on an activity and join in to help him. After grocery shopping she's usually going down for a nap so she doesn't help with those things but she will help with some things. Here's her list:

• pick up toys and put them into a bin closeby
• put shoes back in the basket
  
• bring me shoes for whoever needs them
• bring me a diaper for whoever needs it (sometimes it's the right size...)
• bring something to a different room to leave it there- we're sitll working on "put it on the bed" or "in the closet" but at least it goes to the right room...
• and the biggie, the one she does best, is when asked to go "help" one of the babies, she's so good about it! If someone's fussy and I am either working on bottles or just can't get to them right away I can ask Brianna to go help them and she will go and comfort them WITHOUT FAIL. They both love when she goes and snuggles them and pats their head, lays on them, etc. to make them feel better.
  

What do your kids do? And how old are they?

Poor neglected blog...

I think about things I could post several times each day, but lately getting to the computer with those thoughts has been a little more difficult! The long days away from home have left me with more needing to be done at home and of course the kids don't require any less of me :) And then there's Mike... Well, I think it's time for a date. Tomorrow marks 11 years since our first date. Maybe I'll tell that story tomorrow :) It's kind of a fun one! (ps, just called Mike's parents and sure enough they're ready for some grandbaby time since his mom started her new job this week and hasn't been able to be around. Time for a date!)

Micah's Upper GI was this morning

All in all not so bad. He drank the barium (surprised??) and right away the doctor said YEP, he sure does reflux a lot! Then she flipped him from his side to his tummy and back to his side again and a lot more came back up. It looked to me (though I'm not positive) like some is just sitting in his throat and not even going down again once it comes up.

Anyway, a minute later she said that he's also aspirating. Sure enough, every swallow a bit of the liquid went into his airway- I could see that one. The barium is a thicker liquid, not like milk or water, and is similar in consistency to what he drinks with the milk/baby food combination he is currently eating. Looks like we'll be thickening even more... We knew he gagged bad and couldn't handle thin liquids but these are thicker and he's still aspirating them.

They tried calling around to get a script written in time for us to do the swallow study necessary to find out what thickness of liquids he CAN handle ok, but they weren't able to do it in time for us to make the one opening they had this morning. We were at the children's hospital an hour away so they were hoping to get us in today so we wouldn't have to fast another day and make the 2 hour round trip to do the swallow study. Oh well... it worked out after all for me to head home at that time.

This morning Mike got the other 3 kids up and dressed and dropped Emma off with my mom, Brianna and Kristopher at the church for school. My mom brought Emma back to him around 10 because she had a doctor's appointment, and then I pulled up in the parking lot at 10:45, handed Micah over to Mike for him to drop off for the last hour of school (I'd called to make sure it wouldn't be overwhelming for the teachers) and grabbed Emma. I took her down to the Children's Center for her PT from 11-11:45 then made it back up to the church by 12:10 to pick up the other 3 kids and get everyone home for naps.

At 2 Emma's teacher will be here for an hour and then at 7 we have our church Family Life Group for the last meeting until January (other than a Christmas party next month). It's already been a busy day and there's still a lot to go!

Oh, and although the reflux isn't a good thing, and the aspirating really isn't good... it does explain why Micah is constantly congested--- and wouldn't you think this also explains that "all the sudden" pneumonia he got when we first came home?? I DO!

Our two houses

This is what our house would look like if no one lived in it.  Chairs pushed in, nothing but a nice smelling candle on the table, a cleared off desk with just a notepad and pens, tape and a stapler ready for you to take notes, wing-back chairs sitting all tidy and inviting you to come rest a bit ...

And this is reality.  Yes, those are toys on the mantle.  And in front of the fireplace.  Yes we live in Florida so no, we don't light the fireplace often!  And there's dishes in the sink, mostly sippy cups and bottles from last night and this morning.  Then the 'playroom' complete with slide and swings and the toys the kids dumped in the last 20 minutes... and two of the culprits minus their shirts because it's not as cool out as I was expecting and I'd pulled out long sleeves.  No worries, they're not cold!

It's not that I don't like a clean house (though, admit it, the first photos look like a museum and there NEEDS to be SOMETHING out, how boring!!).  It simply isn't "real" to expect that the kitchen, family room, and playroom are going to be pristine when there are four little monkeys running around the house being little destroyers...  Maybe clean is the wrong word here.  Because everything IS clean.  Just not always picked up.  For long.  If the kids are home. :)

 

So tell me, what parts of your house MUST stay picked up and tidy, and which ones do you let your kids go wild in?  Does your company expect to find an empty sink and sparkling windows?  Mine have spit on the bottom 6" of them.  Emma LIKES windows...  Do you feel like you have to apologize for the way your house looks or are you proud of it?   I like to think I'm over the pride  of a pristine home and I just invite people in.  If they wait for it to be 'ready' then we might not ever get there.  I'm curious what other people think :)

My little destroyer

This morning as I was getting one thing done or another one of my little people has been acting as the destroyer. You know the drill, following behind me and acting innocent while emptying diapers from the bottom basket of the changing table, pulling every shoe out of the shoe basket, emptying the bin with things from the dining room table that were moved yesterday and throwing them all over the kitchen floor, grabbing everything off the couch and tossing it-- including the paperwork I was working on. And add to that the phone call I got and was troubleshooting something for someone by looking up my own adoption paperwork and she then got my entire adoption notebook (3" binder that's zipped shut with lots of loose paperwork in there) and began rifling through it! My little destroyer is on the loose!

Baby gates are now shut (thank goodness she doesn't test those or know how to work them yet!). Playroom is now open. Now I get to go back behind my little tornado and clean up the destruction. Good thing she's cute ;)

Tomorrow morning and prayer updates

Thank you to those that have been standing with us in prayer. Here are a few updates.

Mike's grandmother had an angiogram done and it cleared her from having any heart issues (they suspected she might need stints). This is an answer to prayer for sure! And of course the original reason she was in the hospital was due to her broken shoulder which the doctors have determined will heal fine without surgery. She should be coming home today! God is good :)

The boys are doing fine with my parents. They've had two days of school now and have adjusted ok to the new environment. Mom and Dad are really enjoying having them as well. They're sweet boys and are adjusting to everything thrown at them. Please continue to pray for all the families and state representatives involved.

Lastly, Micah has an upper GI study scheduled for tomorrow morning in Orlando. His GI doctor wants to rule out any possibility of a rotated intestine since Micah has a few symptoms of it and it is more common with Down syndrome than in the general population. I'm fairly confident that all will go fine and this is not an issue, but it is always better to know since this condition is important to fix if it is there. I'm not sure how they'll be convincing the little man to drink Barium for the study, but I suppose that's not to worry about today :)

A long day

On Tuesday we started the day getting the kids off to school because yes, they had school even though it was Veteran's day and even though Mike had off work. Emma and I went to Target after to grab a few things and get a little bit of Christmas shopping started (mostly stocking stuffers) and then came on home. Mike picked up the big industrial commercial strength carpet cleaner from the church while he was there too. We came home and said goodbye to our second little mouse. We knew last night that she wouldn't make it through the night so this morning we disposed of little June. Then, standing outside with a garbage bag full of mouse poop and a little dead furry body, I realized that Mike and I were both home and we had only ONE child home! Yes, we'd planned on spending the morning getting a jump start on the carpet cleaning... but instead we went up to a little drive in place for lunch, just the three of us!

When we finished lunch we went back to the church to pick up thing one, thing two, and thing... three? and got them home and the two little ones settled in for naps. Then the fun began :) We only have carpet in the bedrooms and the living room, and we only planned to wash the living room carpets but that in itself was a big job! We moved the couch (um... Mike did, it has an Oak bed in it and weighs about 300lbs!) then the piano and those two were quite a feat. I watched Mike work the big machine and cleared off the dining room table and kept the kids busy while he shampooed. He finished up around 5 or so and now the living room looks GREAT. The carpets had some 'kid messes' on them and some spills that were there before we moved in and I'd tried to clean out with carpet cleaner before that just didn't work. We'd even used a regular foam shampooer a time or two and without any great results. THIS WORKED WONDERS.

During all of this I was running laundry and, well, it died. The washing machine, I mean. Complete with a load of laundry and a full tub of water. So this evening after Mike brought the shampooer back I brought my soggy clothes to my parents' house to rewash and dry. In the mean time Mr. Fix It went to work and took apart the washer. We had this same thing happen to our previous washer at the other house and the culprit was a baby sock in the pump. Guess what the problem was this time? Yep, baby sock. Guess I need to get a lingerie bag to start washing our kids' socks in again... It's a lot cheaper than a washing machine! I'm so glad Mike's a Handy guy because I'm sure that little sock would have cost us probably $200 after someone came out and disassembled the entire machine like he did. And that's if they knew where to look and found it quickly without adding 3 hours of labor on to the bill.

Tonight we also had a rather unfortunate incident which has now turned into a big learning experience for Kristopher. I promised myself and my children that I wouldn't post anything on here that they would later find humiliating if they were to read it when they're older. I didn't promise not to post things about "real life" or to only post the good things though. Tonight I went outside to help Mike load the shampooer back in the van and the kids followed us out (Bria and K anyway). Brianna and I stayed outside and K came in and out for a bit while I pulled weeds in the front garden. A few minutes later Mike came back out and asked me if I'd moved the rest of the Runts (candy) somewhere. He'd opened them earlier and given K one... now they were gone. I said I hadn't and he went back inside again.

The rest of this I heard second hand when Mike came out to talk to me about what the consequences should be for Kristopher. Aparently Mike asked K where the candy was and K said he didn't know. He said he didn't eat them, he didn't take them, he doesn't know. With more urging (since Mike had then asked me and K is the only other answer...) Mike began getting stories about how the babies must have taken them or K's toy T-Rex. With that he struck a cord. "If you tell me where they are, you won't get a big consequence. If you don't, and I find out you know, you will have more consequences." Yes, we seriously use the word consequences with our children. It's what they are- whether a time out or loss of a privledge, whatever... With that K did give in. He showed Mike where he'd stowed the goods. In his bedroom. Under a bench. Under a frisbee. On top of a book (at least they wouldn't have stained the carpet!). He HID THEM WELL.

Still, there was a three fold problem. 1- he stole. ok, so it was HIS candy from Halloween, but he knew well that he was not allowed to take it unless given to him (we have BIG TIME rules about sugar). 2- he hid. Proving that he knew he wasn't supposed to have it... 3- he lied about it and said he hadn't taken it, didn't know where it was, then tried to pass the blame.

Wow, sounds like a Bible lesson to me :) Kristopher had to own up to what he did, had to recognize that these behaviors aren't acceptable and that they're not to happen again. First the chat about what he did and why it was wrong. Second, to give him a structured activity until bedtime we turned on the Hermie movie "Flo the Lying Fly" which aparently needed to remake its debut in our home and he was told to sit quietly and watch and think about what he did tonight. And third, he was to go to bed early which was really the only part that ends up being a 'consequence' because without that I don't think his little 4 yr old brain would really realize that he had any consequences at all (since a movie isn't exactly punnishment...).

After Hermie's movie was over Kristopher came to the living room and said to me "Mommy, Flo says that she wants only the truth to come from her lips and not lies anymore, and I do too. I'm sorry for not telling the truth." Yay. He gets it :) He still did go to bed at 7 (an hour early) and I hope this impacts his decisions in the future. Yes, he's a kid and kids are going to do things, are going to get in trouble, are going to act out. But that doesn't mean that they should get away with it or that it should be allowed to escalate into more substantial behaviors which are much harder to break!

Thank you to our Veterans

To all who have served, those who continue to serve, and the families that support our soldiers, THANK YOU.

UPDATE to dr post

My script and bloodwork are ready for me to pick up ;) This new staff now has my approval. I'm sure she doesn't care, but I'm glad the messages all made it through! That gives me much more confidence in leaving future messages with her... which is a bit too frequent in our house :)

Four Muskateers- and haircuts all around...

   

Christmas Ideas anyone?

I have a few ideas for Christmas but I'd love to hear what others can think of for our kiddos. We don't do a huge Christmas from Mike & I but that in addition to things from Grandma and Grandpa, Grandmommy and Grandaddy, and then of course a thing or two from Santa... it still ends up being a LOT. Then of course we have Brianna's birthday a week later, mine in the end of January, and Emma and Kristopher's are 5 days apart in February (E's birthday was my duedate with K, just a year earlier ;) ).

So... any thoughts?

A blog award with a twist

 

Ok, so admittedly I'm very bad about posting things like this because they get lost in comments.  I do love to receive them, as it's a small thing that is often a reminder that someone out in cyber world actually reads what I write.   But this one comes with a fun story so it gets a post all its own!  This award was given to me by Amy.  Here's what she said:

This was a tough choice! There are sooo many great Mommy bloggers whose blogs I read, it was tough to pick one. But here goes! The person is Meredith . I have to say that I have NO IDEA how Meredith does all she does! Four kiddos under the age of 5 and 3 with special needs... if you need some inspiration, read her blog!

Thanks Amy!  Now, this award was given to me a little while ago... In fact, it was on September 11th! (http://libenowfamily.blogspot.com/2008/09/blog-awards.html).  I knew  I'd received it when she posted a sweet comment on my most recent post, but then I couldn't find it again.  I don't know why Blogger doesn't allow you to search comments (or maybe it does?) that would be a great feature!

So today I get a comment on my post from way back on 9/11 from a random anonymous person named Beverly simply saying "well said".  Ok, I wasn't sure what I said so I clicked the post and up pops this comment saying I'd been given an award! LOL

Albeit a bit late (about, oh, 2 months!?), thank you, Amy, for the blog award!  I'm honored by your kind words!

I love to read blogs in my "spare" time (yes, go ahead and laugh!) and though I have a lot that I check in on occasionally, there are just a few that I read every single day that I open my google reader. 

Such a long winded response to say that I'm passing this award on after its two months in my comments to a special mommy that I recently had the privilege to meet.  If you think my  house is busy, I can only imagine hers! Shelley, I love reading your blog and I'm sure many of my readers do too!  And if you don't post this for 2 months... or if you received it already 2 months ago... no worries :) You can still know that I love to read your blog!

I pulled out the old camera

And I found all kinds of pictures from a year ago!  What a tiny little thing Brianna was!   And Kristopher too!  Here's a few... there were over 380 on the card!  Of course it was full so I had to empty it in order to take any more pictures (and I probably have a few pic's on my dead camera too for that matter). 

These probably aren't in order, as I'm sure the mess came BEFORE the bath :)

This hippo has since left our house.  Its base was too wide for Brianna to figure out and it sat around for probably 2 years.  Next time we'll get a thinner one at the leg area!

 

These were taken at Mike's parents' vacation spot last year when we went over to spend the day with them.

This is little AB who is now 18 months old and walking and running and SO ADORABLE STILL!  I don't see her very often now but we still do keep in touch.  And on the right is my friend M.  She used to stay when I tutored her brother and she would play with Brianna and Kristopher.  I think Brianna likes her, what do you think?  We haven't seen M much lately either but need to invite her over to help me have a MOMMY day and so she can play with the kids sometime soon :)

I sold these sock monkeys with a Ds awareness ribbon on them as a fundraiser for our adoption.  The next photos are our buddy walk last year!

Yep, you can say it, go ahead... aww..... :)