tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1855066593161369056.post7263816162342399125..comments2023-09-27T11:22:05.849-04:00Comments on Cornish Adoption Journey: RetardedMeredithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07974293935380325338noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1855066593161369056.post-82234859022822596202010-11-24T08:49:59.012-05:002010-11-24T08:49:59.012-05:00Dear Meridith,
We are picking up our girls next mo...Dear Meridith,<br />We are picking up our girls next month, both probably FAS impaired. I know this issue will come up for us, yet I think I will have a different approach. I think there is a distinction between words that were created to insult, such as "spic" or "whore," and words that have been abused. One of the best examples is the word, "bitch." Dog owners steadfastly continue to use the proper term for their female dogs, despite the bastardization of it as a curse word.<br />Similarly, I am offended when even our pastor referred to having an "ADD moment" when our ADD son, for whom the condition is no laughing matter, was in the audience. However, going on the rampage against insulting speech is different than trying to eradicate a word that had a proper and respectful start in life. We are doing the same "PC" thing to perfectly fine words like "handicapped," "negro," "dumb" as in "dumb mute," and now "retarded." You admit that your children (and mine) are slower to develop, and thus their development is "retarded." If one persists in being insulted about respectful use of a proper word, I find it to be a divisive and "hoity-toity" response to someone who is genuinely trying to interact with us and our families, and believe a chiding response would be rude. I have the same feeling about adoptive parents who raise an arched eyebrow in response to innocent and friendly questions about their children's status ("They ARE my REAL children!).<br />I am reminded about the moment I showed our compassionate and loving 13 yo son pictures of one of our new girls. "Mom, I think she's...(long pause while he tried to find a kind way to say this)...mental." Yes, son, she might be "mental," but we think she'll be OK. We would hope that if we die you and your brothers would be willing to take care of her into old age. Would you be OK with that?" His loving response? "Of course, you know how much I love [insert names of two developmentally delayed friends/relatives]." At this rate, PC speech is going to make it impossible for us to speak accurately about our children. Is "delayed" next on the PC list? It is certainly able to be abused.<br />Really, I think we should stick to decrying insulting intent, and not chide respectful speech out of a PC position. I don't think Jesus would have done it, and since you can't stop the insults in our society, it doesn't seem worthwhile to insult one's friends over it. They aren't the problem, and if your children hear such words said in a friendly way from people who love and/or respect them, they probably would not be benefited by hearing you chide the speaker. As you say, at some point they will realize they are delayed, just as my son had to learn to accept and manage his ADD. Challenging these words won't make that day any easier for them.<br />God bless,<br />SherryOhiomom2121https://www.blogger.com/profile/03512342459339771734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1855066593161369056.post-26280946919027314902010-11-24T08:28:04.397-05:002010-11-24T08:28:04.397-05:00I LOVE this. I am 29, and I had a friend in Middle...I LOVE this. I am 29, and I had a friend in Middle school whose brother had DS. we were sitting in a small group setting and I used the word 'retarded" you know, jokingly. She quickly but nicely responded to me in a manner standing up for her brother and asked me to not use the word again. I THINK in all the years since then it did come out once...and quickly I fixed it. But i wouldn't have changed what I said if SHE didn't stand up for her brother. she also later became a SN school teacher;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1855066593161369056.post-28258137582026797902010-11-24T08:13:46.903-05:002010-11-24T08:13:46.903-05:00I love this Meredith! I wrote a similar post on m...I love this Meredith! I wrote a similar post on my blog (although not nearly as eloquently put) around the time that Jennifer Aniston slipped on television. I may link back to this from time to time for others to see if you don't mind. I absolutely love the speech also. I can only hope to teach Alyssa to be so strong at such a young age. <br />Here is my post if you want to see it for whatever reason. <br />http://itsjustlifex2.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20%22R%22%20word<br /><br />Thinking and praying for you this Thanksgiving. C'mon court date! <br />-Lori Free-Lori Fhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04575579937322875198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1855066593161369056.post-19648200706921149472010-11-24T08:05:09.559-05:002010-11-24T08:05:09.559-05:00I have read so many posts about the use of the wor...I have read so many posts about the use of the word 'retard' and many of the comments excuse the use saying that it doesn't mean what it used to. I disagree...and I cringe when I hear someone use that term. I like the perspective you brought to the use of the word...after reading what you've said, I don't think anyone could think of a reason to excuse the casual use of the word.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10546180405393389908noreply@blogger.com